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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 2, 2009 23:53:10 GMT -5
{....one year post Breaking Dawn...}
The words were completely blurring together and jumping around as Lyndal’s eyes repeatedly fought to close. Her head lolled from side to side and leant forward to her chest. Pulling her head up for what felt like the hundredth time in just the last few minutes she looked over at the clock and noted it wasn’t even 10.30, but it felt so much later. Looking down at her book Dal knew she still had atleast five more pages of reading then the chapter synopsis with questions. She needed and wanted coffee.
Heading out into the hall way Lyndal padded in her sock clad feet to the kitchen thinking about how much longer the day felt. The night before had been a late night with more study, the morning had been early too as she’d dragged herself from bed to share a private breakfast with Nash after his night patrolling and before the others in the house got up for the day. Lyndal tried to get the most out of everyday from time with Nash and Travis to study and school work.
The house was dark, but Lyndal could hear a voice coming from the kitchen.
Growing up Lyndal had always been told that eaves droppers never heard anything good and now she knew it to be true. As she headed towards the kitchen for the fuel for the nights study, the voice she heard made her pick up the pace and smile. However, when she drew closer to the door she paused not liking what she heard.
{.....tag Nash....}
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 3, 2009 0:08:03 GMT -5
Nash leaned against the wall in kitchen with the phone to his ear as he talked to Day. He had thought everyone else in the house was in bed by this time of night. Their conversation had gone between the imprinting process and both of their imprintees. Nash thought that since Dal came along, and he and Day now shared that as well, the two of them were even closer.
"It's still just so strange, you know?" He said shaking his head as he looked out the window to the darkened sky. "I mean I always just assumed Michelle was my imprintee. I kept praying for her to come back after I phased so I could imprint...I thought it would fix everything and then we'd be able to give Travis the family he deserved from the start....I hadn't even been looking for anyone else, it was either going to be her or I'd be like the ones who don't have an imprintee"
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 3, 2009 0:27:41 GMT -5
As Dal stood outside the door listening she failed to hear anyone else’s voice so assumed he was talking on a phone to someone. It was wrong to listen, Dal knew that. She knew she should just go in and get coffee, see Nash and be happy. His voice and some words spurred her to wait and listen more.
As she stood and listen she heard words she was now familiar; imprinting and imprintee. Lyndal knew she was Nash’s imprintee, the words and actual process were now part of her life. As she listened further she heard a name she didn’t want to hear attached to words she didn’t want to associate together. Michelle and Imprintee. Immediately her mind began to spin. Was Nash wishing Michelle was his imprintee? To her ears it sounded like it. Dal knew she wasn’t Travis’ mom and she tried not to over step her boundaries with that, but she wanted to be close to him. Did Nash wish it was Michelle with him not her?
Not having an Imprintee? Would he prefer that? Dal wasn’t sure if it was all the words together or the lack of sleep, or if it was both of them together. Whatever it was Dal felt the tightness in her throat before she realized her cheeks were already wet. Reaching up to rub her cheeks Dal didn’t mange to cover her mouth as a strangled sob escaped. She loved Nash more then anything and thought it as the same, but his words seemed to tell her he felt different.
Stepping back from the door Dal rubbed her cheeks and covered her mouth.
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 3, 2009 0:37:35 GMT -5
Lyndal was wrong in the impression she had gotten from his words. The way Nash felt was quite the opposite. He was realizing what a fool he had been for hoping Michelle was his imprintee. He was feeling grateful that he had found someone as wonderful as Dal to enter into his life, and lucky enough that she had accepted him and stayed so that they could develop something.
Nash heard the sob as he was about to say more to Day. It felt like an arrow piercing his heart, immediately knowing it was her and what she must have heard him saying. His eyes widened and he swallowed feeling immediately distraught over the pain he might have caused her with her not knowing the full conversation. It was nothing he'd ever keep from her, all things he would say to her face, nothing was secret, but she needed all of it, not just the middle of a conversation.
"Day I have to go" He told his friend, quickly hanging up, knowing he could apologize for the rudeness later after he tried to salvage the best relationship he could ever have. He quickly turned around and headed out the door to the kitchen in the direction of the sob, seeing Dal with tears down her cheek and covering her mouth. "Lyndal...I didn't know you were there...it isn't what you think"
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 3, 2009 0:59:37 GMT -5
Her mindless stumble had taken her a few steps from the door to the kitchen, but far enough away that she didn’t hear Nash’s hastily hang up. Even if she had been close enough to hear Lyndal was in no state to hear anything. Her mind was telling her to get back to her room, to wait out the night and go straight to Laurie’s the next morning, she knew she could stay with her brother til she could get a flight back to Australia.
Nash had to have been wrong about the imprinting, or mistaken. It was clear in his words that he wanted Michelle and probably just saw her as a little girl with a crush. She’d been deluding herself, that’s what the vindictive side of her brain screamed.
Covering her mouth stopped any further outburst of noise, but her tears couldn’t be stopped. As her hand covered her mouth Dal could feel the tears rest on top and running down behind it as she cried.
Lyndal looked up as the door to the kitchen was opened, in the dim light she looked at Nash then quickly looked away as he spoke. He quickly gave excuses not knowing she was there and explaining his words by assuming she’d jumped to the wrong conclusions. How could there be any other conclusions?
“No its ok, I needed a drink. I need to go study.” Lyndal stammered pulling her hand from her mouth and balling it into a fist by her side and she turned to head back to her room. Her voice had been quiet so not to wake the rest of the house, but even she could hear the cracks in it. “Sorry, go back to your conversation.” She said quietly again without looking back at him as she took a few more steps to her room.
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 3, 2009 1:08:08 GMT -5
Nash felt awful. Seeing the tears on Lyndal's face that his thoughtless words had caused broke his heart. He had failed. His goal had been to always keep her happy. He knew imprintees should never be sad, never like this. But he had crushed his during a conversation with his best friend. He wanted to tell her everything but didnt know where to start or even if she'd believe him now. Why couldnt she have heard what he was saying just a little bit earlier? Or even a few minutes after when he knew he'd have been spouting off about love again!
She looked away from him and Nash wanted to reach out and bring her to him. She tried to avoid any confrontation and head off to her room, telling him to just go finish his conversation.
"I'll call him back later, that's not important" Nash said following after her as she started back towards her room. "Please let me explain....I love you so much...and unless you heard me from the start I dont think it sounded that way."
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 4, 2009 23:22:47 GMT -5
The tears wouldn’t stop even as she looked at Nash and saw how hurt and apologetic he looked, she couldn’t stop crying. Her chest felt heavy as if every breath, however ragged, was a huge effort. Her heart felt as it is was breaking in two in her chest while ripping open. Dal couldn’t look at Nash for long, every sight of him made her ears hear the words over again.
Pulling away from Nash was easier then been near him even though she wanted to be in his arms, wanted to be near him. He was her world and her comfort, but not this time. Now she wanted her brother, she needed Laurie.
She heard him follow after her as she moved towards her room. Reaching for her door handle she heard the words she’s always believed but now doubted. “It didn’t sound anything like that.” Lyndal said pushing open the bedroom door and going into without closing it. Dal knew she couldn’t keep him out and a part of her didn’t want to. Moving to the bed she slumped down and stared at her hands as her tears still fell. “All you said before. All the lies…” She said not looking up. “I’m leaving in the morning.”
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 4, 2009 23:35:30 GMT -5
Nash's heart felt the pain of his words. He knew he had messed up. His intentions hadn't been bad, but he knew he shouldnt have even risked saying anything that could be misinterpreted by her. He knew his focus should always be his imprintee, and he should never be surprised by her presence. But it had happened at the worst time possible.
Nash didnt want to upset her more by following her but knew that he couldnt leave it alone. He couldnt let her think for a moment longer that his feelings towards her werent what they were. He had to make her understand and knew he couldnt give up. As he followed her into her room he felt terrified of not being able to fix this, of having this be the moment he ruined their relationship, seeing her tears still falling.
"It didnt sound like that because you came at the wrong time...and I didnt get to finish" Nash told her, giving her a little space as he stood just inside of the doorway, not wanting to crowd her though he wished he could just hold her now. "Nothing I have ever told you before has been a lie, not one word" Nash told her. "Just hear me out before you make any decisions to leave...you're everything to me. No matter what you thought I was saying, I dont want Michelle, I only want you, for the rest of my life"
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 4, 2009 23:53:27 GMT -5
Lyndal wiped her cheek with the back of her hand as she sat she knew she was sitting on her school work but she didn’t care. Come tomorrow she’d be arranging to go home and then school work wouldn’t matter. Nothing mattered right then except the pain in her heart and the need to have Nash close even though she knew she shouldn’t want him.
She heard his words, but it didn’t help. She’d over heard something and now he was trying to explain it away as her been in the wrong place at the wrong time. “If you’ve have finished you’d have gotten the advice on how to have me sling my pack right? Well no worries, I am.” She said glancing up and looking at him as she pushed her hair back and felt the tears mix in her hair.
“You say you didn’t lie, but you can have or want two soul mates and you clearly want Michelle.” She said stammering after a shakey breath she went on speaking her thoughts out loud rather then explaining to him. “And its right Travis needs his real mum not some teen trying to be a parental figure. And you should have you first love as your imprintee. You were right, it should be her.” she said finishing her words, but not dropping her eyes from him.
“Nash you don’t have to pretend, I’ll be gone tomorrow.” she said, but it wasn’t what she really wanted. Deep down she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life too. Her tears spilled forward again and she felt her heart break a little more. “I want your words to be true. I want it so bad.” She said gasping as her tears fell.
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 5, 2009 0:10:31 GMT -5
Nash took another step into the room as he heard her guess that if she had stayed to listen to him finish the conversation he'd be asking for advice on how to get her to pack up and leave. "Having you leave is the last thing I want...please don't do this" He begged her.
He shook his head as she argued back against his statement of not lying to her. "No thats not it at all" He said hearing everything he feared that she had thought by his words. He knew Daylan who had gone through this all with him had understood his words, but it made sense that Dal would take them differently. "I don't want Michelle. I don't want her in my life, in Travis' and certainly not as my soulmate or imprintee" He told her knowing that she'd think he was lying then and had to say more, though he was worried about how she'd take it.
"When I first changed into a wolf, before you were here, yes I wanted my imprintee to be Michelle. I was struggling being a father on my own, and just feeling lonely. I wanted the picturesque family but that wasn't real, and that isnt who she is. She left, and hasn't looked back. She doesnt deserve to be in my son's life. You have spent more time with him, put in more effort than she ever did...Lyndal when I picked you up from the airport, and imprinted on you...the feelings I felt, they were so much stronger than anything I'd ever felt before...I was a fool to ever wish for anything else, and I havent wanted that for one second since"
"I'm not pretending, and I dont want you gone" Nash told her seeing her breaking down further, wishing his words were true. He couldnt hold back anymore and moved to her side, taking her in his arms, but leaving her room to push him away if it was what she wanted. "Please don't go...I can't live without you"
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 5, 2009 0:25:57 GMT -5
There was begging in his voice as he spoke and that hurt Lyndal to think she was hurting him by been hurt. She looked up at him, but didn’t have words to say. She couldn’t tell him she wasn’t going to leave when she wanted to, but didn’t want to at the same time. Everything was confusing Lyndal.
“Then who do you want? And why say those things?” She questioned wiping her cheeks again as the first tears started to dry. “I don’t understand how you could even be thinking about her.” She said completely at a loss as to what to do now. She wanted to believe his words, but it was hard when she was so hurt.
Listening to his full explanation she nodded not knowing what else to do. “When I first saw you I had no clue what thee feelings where or what imprinting was, but I loved you. Now I’m confused. I love you and Travis so much, but I can’t compete with Michele if you still want her to be your imprintee.” She said trying to clear her voice of tears, but wanting to cry all the more.
When he came to her Lyndal felt the same spark and connection she felt whenever they touched. His body was warm and she relaxed into the comforting feeling of completeness. She couldn’t leave no matter how painful hear his words had been, she knew his words since had been truthful in a way she couldn’t explain. She knew things with Nash as he did with her that she always put down to Imprinting. She didn’t reach her arms around him instead she rested her head on his shoulder. “I’ll stay for now, but this all just got way more muddy for me. I’m so confused what you want and why you’d be talking about her.” she said not looking at him. Now her tears fell silently, but they still fell. “I don’t know what this is now, Nash.”
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 11, 2009 23:38:48 GMT -5
The fact that Lyndal even needed to ask him who he wanted made it clear to Nash that he had failed at making her understand that she was his entire world. That he could never want someone else the way he wanted her. "Dal, I want you, and only you for the rest of my life. I could never want another woman, you're perfect to me in every way, and are exactly what I want." He told her wishing she knew the extent of his feelings for her, knowing if she knew how deeply he loved her she couldnt doubt it.
As she asked how he could even be thinking of Michelle and say those things he wondered if she would ever really understand, having not been around during that time of his life. "My thinking about her doesnt mean I want to be with her, or that I love you any less. I look at my son every day and I can't help but be reminded of her, of our mistakes...but also my anger towards her for what she's done. " Nash said though he knew it wasn't his anger she had overheard
"The things I said, were true at one point. Raising a child on my own has been hard, and when I first found out about imprinting I thought that maybe our timing was just off and that she was supposed to be that person for me...Sam had mentioned how he thought it was tied to having children...it made sense that it would have been her" Nash said trying to explain his thought process. "Day's heard that before, it was nothing new when I was saying it to him on the phone...but I was saying it and telling him that I was amazed that I ever could have thought those things, knowing how wonderful it is to be with you. To have someone that I feel so much more for, and who I want to spend my life with. Someone who completes me, and who actually deserves to be in my son's life"
Nash shook his head quickly as Lyndal said she couldnt compete with Michelle if thats who he wanted as his imprintee. "Imprinting isn't a choice, and its not something I can switch over to someone else, but even if it was, I would never want anyone but you"
Nash was relieved when Lyndal didnt push him away but still felt their emotional distance as she didnt put her arms around him. He nodded as she said she wouldnt leave, glad to hear that though afraid she'd change her mind. "I'm sorry I confused you but I swear to you my feelings are clear, you're the only woman I want. Just because I talk about her doesnt mean it changes what we have. This is everything to me" He said urgently.
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 12, 2009 0:19:33 GMT -5
The whole thing confused Lyndal, she wondered how she could feel she knew something but still had to ask for the clarification. She felt she was Nash’s world, just as he was her’s, but she had to know. Hearing his words gave her a little more hope, but not the complete confidence she had before. “You say that, but now I’ve heard your words I don’t feel that completely any more. Maybe you didn’t really imprint on me, maybe you just had strong feelings.” She said trying to give it some explanation or reasoning.
“But do you still love her? Or feel anything for her?” Lyndal could hear the jealousy she didn’t realize she felt, in fact Lyndal never thought of herself as been the jealous type. It was hard for her to hear that he was reminded of Michelle every day by looking at Travis, but she wouldn’t and couldn’t hold that against the child. Loving her any less, that wasn’t her true fear but now it was certainly an issue. “She gave you the most beautiful child and that’s something I can’t compete with.” She said wondering if they would ever get to the point of creating a life or if he’d want a child with her.
“See, its tied to having children. So maybe our thing isn’t imprinting, you have that shared life with Michelle and not me. Maybe we’re just heavily in lust?” Lyndal said the words but couldn’t make herself feel that what they had was just lust, it was so much more. As he carried on talking about Say hearing it all before she worried if Day believed Michelle was his imprinter or he thought Dal was. “Spend your life with? In Travis’ life, shouldn’t he have some say in all this? Have you even spoken to him about you and I?” dal had to know, she needed to know how much Travis knew and what he felt. There was so much to consider and his words she’d overheard stirred up so many other questions.
His reassurance made her smile, but didn’t relax her completely. “its still so much to take in a learn about. I feel like im not really grasping it all.” She excused herself not commenting on his words for fear of getting that wrong too or taking it to heart too much. “Maybe there is still a lot we both need to learn about it.” There was an intense need to be held and to have some physical contact with him, but she couldn’t bring herself to reach out for him. She wouldn’t leave the next day, she knew she couldn’t face the idea of been away from him even for a shirt time and especially not now. “You’re everything to be too, but hearing you on the phone it scared me and this feeling is scaring me. You’re all I can ever think about and the only person I want to be with.” She said sitting back form him to look up at him, her hand brushing over her books as she sat back. “You’re everything to me Nash. And that’s not always a good thing.”
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Nashal Winters
Dazzled
Werewolf Imprinted on Lyndal Chambers
Posts: 162
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Post by Nashal Winters on Nov 12, 2009 0:47:28 GMT -5
Nash shook his head harder as she tried to suggest that he didnt imprint on her but maybe it was just strong feelings. He felt like he wanted to cry, being torn in two and denied by his imprintee. "I have no doubt in my mind that I imprinted on you. This is more than love, lust or any strong attraction. This is real and I want you to feel that completely" He said as his throat felt like it was getting a lump in the back of it.
"I don't love her. I thought I may have once, but now I'm not even sure if I ever did" He told her truthfully. "The only thing I feel now for her is resentment, and anger, and disappointment. I dont understand her how she could leave him...and it still upsets me that she was that selfish" He explained. " She did give me Travis, but thats not something you have to compete with" He said wondering if she was telling him she didnt want a child, or just felt he'd never love another child like he did his first son. "If we ever had a child, I would love them just as much...my children will always be loved equally, but as far as their mothers, you would win that every time"
Nash turned his head from hers as she tried to convince him again it wasn't imprinting but just lust. He let his hair fall into his face to cover the tears that had filled up his eyes. "Maybe it is tied to having children, but Travis wasn't it, I thought that before you, but not since...this isnt lust, we can have another child or don't have to..." He said wanting to just tell her that Travis was a mistake he made as a child, and though he knew it was true couldn't bring himself to call his son that. Nash took a sharp intake of breath to keep from sobbing.
"Travis is too young to decide who should be in our lives" He told her. "He knows I care about you and that I want you in our lives but I dont think he knows just how much, its too fast for someone his age, he wouldnt understand that we did imprint...and I know that we did Dal, please don't doubt that"
"No! There's nothing I need to learn about it, I know you're it! My feelings for you are completely clear, you said you felt it before too...don't doubt it now. " He said not wanting to look into imprinting, he knew he wasn't going to switch to someone else. His feelings for Lyndal would never change, he hoped she'd never force him to stay away and change things between them.
Lyndal sat back, moving out of his arms as she told him about being scared of what he said and how she was feeling. It hurt him to hear her say she didnt think him being everything to her was a good thing. "It is a good thing, and its something you can count on, always. My love for you will never change. My world will always revolve around you"
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Post by Lyndal Chambers on Nov 12, 2009 23:53:02 GMT -5
The imprinting and over hearing had really sent Lyndal’s mind into a whirl, hearing the emotion in Nash’s voice only made her feel worst about the situation and what she’d heard. Like Nash Dal didn’t doubt the imprinting or the total love they felt for one another, she was just confused and upset. “I don’t doubt it either.” Dal said a little quieter then Nash as she felt more tears threatening to fall
“I don’t know how she could leave Travis or you, my world would be empty without either of you.” Lyndal said just as truthfully as his words were coming out, she meant what she said. To Lyndal the idea of losing one of them would shatter her. As his words moved on the subject of their children Lyndal felt her heart skip a beat with excitement and love. She wanted to bare Nash’s children, that wasn’t even a question though she was happy to hear he would never love their children differently. His vow to love her more made her heart race quicker. “A part of me knows that you love me more, the words just hurt. I know I took them wrong.” She confessed. “As for children…I’d like too…” She let the words trail off a little shy at been so open.
Nash may have turned his head, but a part of Lyndal could feel how much she was hurting him. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t lust. I’m just so confused by it all now.” Lyndal said not wanting to hurt him of push away his feelings or his advances. Hearing his sharp intake of instinct raised her hand to his cheek pulling his face back to her. “Don’t turn away.” she said gently.
“Why were you still talking about her tonight? Have you heard from her? Did Trav say something?” Lyndal asked suddenly wondering why Michele was even a factor in any of their talks.
“I don’t doubt it, even when I didn’t understand it I didn’t doubt our love.” it was true, she couldn’t ever doubt the amazingly strong feeling they shared and expressed so freely since day one. “I shouldn’t have brought Travis into this, you’re right he is too young.”
His words were so filled emotion, she knew it was wrong to suggest they looked into it and she doubted it was something she could readily google. “Its not doubt, its …. I don’t know. But I know you’re right, I did feel it and I still do.” She said gently feeling tired, drained and still hurt, but she wanted him to know she still felt the love.
Having someone’s world revolve around her was a feeling she was getting used to, she knew Nash had it harder then most of the other protectors because he had two centers of his world. Luckily she loved Travis too. “You and Travis are my world too, and that’s why hearing something that sounds like losing you scares me so much. It is a good thing mostily, I just need to learn a better divide like you have.” She said thinking about how he juggled work, patrolling, Travis and her yet she could hardly manage him and school. “Will you stay in here tonight?” She asked knowing it could be hard with his aunt and uncle home, but also not wanting to be away from him.
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