Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Jan 13, 2009 2:50:47 GMT -5
Her caramel brow furrowed and her lips fell into a frown when Carlisle mentioned human love. Her mind wove through the tainted memories of her human life, pulling out the faint things she could remember. She had had a husband before, married because she thought they were in love. If she would have known before hand the true colors of Charles she would have never gotten married, as it was she was nearly forced into it. She being the last of her friends to get married, she had done it to make her parents happy. And though her she did tell her parents what Charles was doing to her, the purpled bruises, the raised bumps, they counseled her, telling her to be quiet because that is what a good wife was supposed to do. Deep down, she knew that wasn't love, but that's the only thing she had to compare the love Carlisle spoke of, the love of vampires, to.
As she paused next to the tree, staring at Carlisle, she thought back on what he had said. The unusual feeling she had when he spoke about certain things. How he had been certain that she had many things to experience in this new life, that she would have the opportunity to love and be loved. And though she desperately wanted to believe him, believe that she would one day love someone for her entire existence, she didn't think it was possible for her.
"Very," she muttered quietly, pulling herself from her reverie. It was overwhelming, all of it. The changes, the feelings, the senses, the speed. Everything. It was enough to make a human's small mind go crazy. But she was no longer a human, her mind had expanded and gave her the ability to go over everything, and yet, that did not help.
"We're going back there, right?" she asked, her eyes darting to span across the green again. She couldn't imagine staying out here, in the open. A home was all she knew, the confines of a warm home.
Again, as she took an unnecessary breath to taste the air, like an annoying sibling, the burn in her throat made itself known. This time it was manageable, she could just push it away, lock it in a dark closet in her mind. For now at least, she was unsure how long she'd have before the need for more blood would craze her mind again.[Ooc: Not very newborn vampire like. But eh. I think I've given up on trying to understand how a newborn should act. And I'm not sure if this makes sense, but let me know and I'll edit it. ]
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Feb 1, 2009 18:43:02 GMT -5
(OOC: You’re fine, it stops us going over old ground anyways. I think it rocks I must apologise for this post too, it sucks a bit, but I’ve not posted in this thread for ages, need to get back into it!)
Carlisle watched carefully as Esme absorbed what he said, it seemed so important to him that she accepted all he told her, and that he didn’t scare her away. It matched the will he had to make Edward understand him and the reasons for his lifestyle, it almost subsumed it. A little fluttering in his chest alerted him to the danger that he was attracted to the newborn, not just in a physical way. She was absolutely beautiful, but even her actions and responses told him something of her true personality. One that he wouldn’t, couldn’t, see for the next couple of years. She already seemed to gentle, so delicate, despite her exaggerated newborn emotions. He felt urges to protect her, though she could probably look after herself much more effectively than he in their current situation. There was no way he would endanger her soul though. He nodded, both in response to her assent that it was overwhelming, and to her question. His own soft golden eyes roved back across the green towards their remote house. He considered, in quite a troubled manner that the house was really unfit for a woman to inhabit. There had been no need for the two men to fix up the place too much. It was really just a stereotypical house with two ‘bedrooms’ and living rooms. There were a few things from their pasts that remained, the cross from Carlisle’s father’s church, the framed pictures that depicted the amazing life he led, but there was nothing of a lady’s touch.
“We’re safe enough there,” he assured her. “It’s remote from… human settlement and we don’t get visitors. We’ve no need to go away to work, so while you grow used to what you’ve become, we will give our jobs up and help you. We’ll do everything we have the power to do, Esme. We’ll probably stay here for the next year or so, until you have fully acclimatised to being a vampire and don’t find the thirst to be such an issue, and then we have the freedom to move around.”
He paused, allowing her to absorb the information, and looked back towards her, his eyes soft and accommodating. “Would you like to return now, or hunt for more game?”
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Post by Edward Cullen on Feb 19, 2009 0:28:22 GMT -5
(If you guys arent ready to come back yet dont worry, I'm just putting Edward in before I forget to)
When Edward returned to the house that he shared with Carlisle he knew the woman was gone. He hadn't reacted well when he had learned what Carlisle had done, changing someone else, and hadn't been ready to watch her making the transformation so took some time to go off hunting. Now that he was back his eyes were the golden color that usually signified his calm and controlled side, but he was feeling very agitated knowing that before long Carlisle woudl return with the new vampire.
Edward didn't understand why Carlisle felt the need to do this. His father had told him when Edward himself had first changed that he had been looking for a companion. Was Edward not good enough for Carlise? Was he looking for a replacement. Perhaps a son was not fulfilling enough for him and he had decided a mate would be better. Without even having met Esme yet he felt an intense jealousy towards her and feelings of anger were brewing towards the man who had created them both.
Edward took a seat in the their main sitting area, staring out the glass windows. He tried to imagine what it would be like, what Carlisle had brought into their lives. A newborn out of control as he had been not too long ago. Would she try to fight him? Would Carlisle have already told her of his abilty to read her mind, the one advantage he might have? Would she want to be a part of their life (if Edward was still even welcomed in it) or would she run off. But even as the feelings of hurt and betrayl flowed through him, Edward couldn't help but feel a small bit of understanding. He knew how hard it was for Carlisle to watch people die, this woman must have been even more difficult if he had changed her. And Edward also had sympathies for the woman, the intense emotions she must be feeling, the confusion, the sorrow. His days as a newborn were still very fresh in his memory. He wondered if he'd be able to help her adjust in any way.
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Feb 22, 2009 19:57:41 GMT -5
Esme relaxed slightly with Carlisle's assurance that they would return to the home they had just come from. She was grateful that they had chosen a home away from humans, especially now. She didn't want to risk coming upon any innocent human, especially now, knowing the way she'd react to any blood or heartbeat. She wondered if it would ever be possible for her to tolerate the blood as well as Carlisle did now. "Do you think I'll ever be like you?" she asked curiously of the doctor.
"Where else can we go?" she asked, "Shouldn't we just stay in one spot? It can't be safe for us to move around all the time. All the new smells and sights, especially with the heightened senses. We can't just move around freely." A hint of panic was starting to bubble in her words. She had only ever known this area of the country, though she had wanted to move West, this was all she knew. Her panic was a mixture of her own fear of change and the idea of moving around humans. She hadn't even spent more than a couple hours in this new life and all the new changes, the idea of even moving, though it wouldn't be for a while longer frightened her.
She shifted slightly from her frozen stance at the mention of feeding again. Though a small part of her didn't want to hunt again, the remaining need to feed was overwhelming. "Please, if we could just hunt one more time?" she asked, hanging her head down slightly in shame. She didn't think she'd ever get used to the idea of eating like this. "And then we can go back," she added as she took a step deeper into the forest.
She closed her eyes, pausing to take in the surroundings better, looking for her next prey. She could make out the sound of even heartbeats a couple miles out; more deer.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Feb 23, 2009 22:34:44 GMT -5
A slight far away look presented itself on Carlisle’s face as the newborn vampire asked him if she could ever be like him. It sounded like an aspiration in her soft voice, which encouraged him no end. He knew that often newborns would be so thirsty for blood that thoughts of compassion or sparing their nature would be non-existent – at best they were few and far between, but Esme’s heart was clearly bigger than anything his venom could change. He smiled down at her warmly, his light eyes reflecting her own muted crimson ones.
“Esme, you can be anything you want to be, this… condition doesn’t change anything, it may just make it harder,” he paused, suddenly longing to comfort her with a subtle touch, maybe a hand on a shoulder, just something to reassure her, but he knew it was impossible. Just a few weeks and he might be able to try it; just a few months and he would be able to act naturally without second guessing himself. It shouldn’t seem long to him as a vampire who had an eternity to live through, but it seemed like forever as he watched her vulnerability before him. “But if being like me is what you really want, then I would be delighted to help you in any way I can. You’ll just have to trust me when I say that if I can manage this lifestyle then I am absolutely certain that you will be able to too.”
He nodded a little, understanding where Esme’s next concerns were coming from and it lightened his heart that he could realistically assume that she was worried for the damage she would inflict given the temptation of her new urges. “Living as we do, it is necessary for us to move around every few years. A long time ago I decided to use my extra abilities to help any humans that could benefit from them and begun working in a hospital. So, as you can probably imagine, with the lack of aging, we can only last in one location or another for a maximum of around six or seven years. Of course, if you would prefer that our next location be somewhere that is hidden from humans altogether that can be done until you feel more confident of your self-control, but I think it would be beneficial if we remain here until the edge is taken off your instinct.”
He took a few unnecessary breaths, allowing her to absorb what he had told her. He smiled at her calmly, with a confidence that he hoped told her that he knew what he was doing, that she was safe with him. “Try not to worry. Between myself and Edward we will keep you right, so long as it is your decision to act as we do.”
He watched her again, noting the droop of her head as she admitted her weakness and again he extended her an encouraging smile. He didn’t want her to feel ashamed of this new urge she had, but he knew there was nothing he could really do about it, after all, his own shame had been chronic when he had been a newborn. He stepped out towards the deeper forest with her, extending his senses out as far as he could to make sure that there were no humans on the path to their next prey. “I could do with a small buck myself. Shall we run?”
He smiled at her once more and began to run in the small herd’s direction, checking to make sure that the newborn was on his heels.
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on May 1, 2009 0:45:31 GMT -5
Esme listened to Carlisle timidly, her small hands folded tightly in front of her waist as she remained planted in one spot on the forest floor. While her position seemed at ease, her senses continued to go crazy. She fought to keep focused on the words Carlisle was speaking, taking in and deciphering what it all meant. Her newborn mind strained to pinpoint every subtle sound, focus on every divot and crease in an object, feel the exact grooves of anything and everything. The burn in her throat was becoming fierce, filling her mouth with anticipatory venom. But she managed, catching most of what he said and piecing together what he meant when she hadn't been paying entire attention.
The way he spoke, so assured and strongly, was comforting. He was a natural leader, knowing all the right things to say, getting you to trust and follow willingly. It was exactly what Esme needed and wanted. She just nodded her head once in understanding of what he had explained and offered to her. One day becoming as resistant and strong like him seemed like a long shot to her, but she was willing to put forth the effort. Their 'condition', as he had put it, frightened her. The instinctive aspect of it scared her the most. She didn't want to be a killer of innocents, and if Carlisle wanted to help, she would greedily take it.
Shifting her feet out of habit Esme felt the silent crunch of the forest ground cover. The subtle movement released a more concentrated puff of the forest scent; a mixture of wet dirt and pine. Once more she forced herself to pay attention to Carlisle's explanation, fighting fully the instincts that continued to pull at her. What he said made sense. She had witnessed herself the fact that their kind didn't age. The Dr. Carlisle Cullen she had met sixteen years prior was the same beautiful man that graciously stood before her, not a single gray hair or wrinkle exposing that he was really much older than the he appeared.
The idea of staying secluded from humans caused her non-working stomach to constrict in anticipation and need. He was offering to change his lifestyle to help hers, and she grasped at it without worrying to much on the burden she might possibly cause not only Carlisle but Edward also. "Please, I want to be far away from humans," she confided, eyes focused entirely on the ground, "I don't want the temptation."
Esme remained silent again, keeping her eyes away from Carlisle even as he spoke. The situation was uncomfortable, she disliked being so vulnerable yet so dangerous. The feelings didn't last long, her head snapping up as she watched Carlisle retreat deeper into the forest, the sound of the far off deer in the distance. All instinct took over, masking any small sense of reasoning she had before, and she took off toward her next meal.
It didn't take her long to locate the herd and she immediately latched onto the nearest one, quickly draining it of life before pushing the empty carcass away. The burn in her throat was once again soothed, subtly masked by the fresh blood. Righting herself she used her forearm to wipe at her mouth, glancing around at her surroundings again.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on May 20, 2009 21:39:32 GMT -5
Carlisle continued to watch Esme carefully all through the time that he was speaking to her in an attempt to judge his pauses, to put them in the right places and to make them the right length to allow the beautiful vampire to absorb what he was saying, but not so long as to make her lose concentration. He nodded a little, understandingly, as she uttered her desire to be far, far away from human settlement. It was his exact reaction when he had first been turned into a vampire, to get as far away from humans as he possibly could. There was nothing worse than the fear of becoming a monster against your own will and he would absolutely make this transitional period as easy for Esme as he possibly could, as he had tried to do for Edward.
Edward. He realised, at that point, that he had been quite selfish to that point. He hadn’t seen his son in days, since he had brought the broken young woman back to the house. A surge of guilt threatened to break his confident façade, though he managed to retain the appearance for Esme’s sake – a change now would be confusing to her. Still, he knew that he owed Edward an explanation for what he had done and he couldn’t be sure how much the mind-reading vampire had gauged whilst he had been in the house, at the young woman’s bedside. He sincerely hoped that his son, a vampire only recently out of his own newborn years, would be understanding and accepting enough of a new companion to the pair of them. It was definitely a conversation he would have to have with him before too long in the hopes to quell any growing resentment.
“Of course,” he answered the young woman, nodding his head once, in a decisive manner. They weren’t too attached to the area at the moment, the hospital would manage fine without him and whilst Edward’s resistance to human blood was now at an admirable level for his youth, maybe a move to somewhere less populated would be a welcome break to him. “We will be able to discuss where we move to, the three of us, when we return to the house. Edward should be back by then, or soon after, anyway.”
This time, once the pair of them reached the herd of deer, Carlisle allowed himself to step forward and catch his own game. He easily controlled the prey within his arms and drained it with barely a thought as his light golden eyes latched back on to Esme to see how she was doing. He allowed the doe to drop to the ground without an errant drop on it or himself as he saw the other vampire begin to look around her. He smiled at her a little, a calm, but jovial smile, and raised his eyebrows. “More?”
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Nov 7, 2009 21:17:48 GMT -5
Esme's eyes moved about, trying to locate where Carlisle had gone. She was surprised to find him too feeding off the deer when before he had just watched. Her head cocked to the side a bit and her pale brow furrowed. He did it so smoothly, keeping himself and the doe clean. Where as she made a mess of her prey and blood leaked out of her mouth. Another thing that he did so easily. She took it as the many years he had on her of being a vampire and another tiny string of hope reached out as she aspired to someday become a clean eater.
"No, I'm good," she replied, pursing her lips and shaking her head. She was full for now, the blood from both hunts filling her completely. Despite feeling as though she could drink no more there was still a slight burning sensation in the back of her throat. This was not reassuring as she feared this annoying pain would always be there.
Reaching a hand up to her throat she felt around, running her cool fingers against the hardened skin of her neck. She brushed stray strands of caramel hair out of her way, peeling some off her skin where they had gotten covered in blood and stuck to her skin.
"It does go away, doesn't it?" she asked, returning her hand to her side. Her fingers picked at her clothing nervously. "The burn that is."
Another intake of breath and she was tasting the air once more. She didn't think she could get used to this, being able to taste and smell everything around them. Being able to see every objects make up. Being able to hear every sound at a great distant. It was highly distracting and unusual. Her eyes continued to move about the forest, never finding it old to look at.
"Should we head back to your house?" she asked timidly, unsure of what was next.
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