Rosalie Hale
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire, PsychoBlonde
Over my pile of ashes.
Posts: 233
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Post by Rosalie Hale on Jan 14, 2009 21:10:16 GMT -5
[1933 - Between Christmas and New years] Though having just returned from a satisfying hunt, Rosalie could still feel the devastating dryness that lived in her throat. It had merely been months since she had joined the Cullens, and still found it difficult to think straight. They all told her that it was something to get used to, and that it would get better. After what had seemed like an eternity under an inferno, Rosalie had awaken with extraordinary strength, speed and a new set of enhanced senses. After being told what she had become, and that she had to leave everything she knew behind for this new life, she could not comprehend the injustice to her. No matter how many questions she'd asked Carlisle, there was just no way around it.
Despite her reluctance and fear, Carlisle, Esme and even Edward had helped her as much as they could. They showed them that they were almost like any other family, just with a unique diet. Rosalie found it hard to seek their company, and spent many hours on her own, but there were times where she could not stand being alone and would eventually catch up with whatever one of them was doing. Esme, who was immensely friendly and seemed to know when not to ask too many questions. Carlisle worked a lot, but was the person she sought when she had thought of a question that had escaped her. But Edward, she mostly stayed away from. She felt uncomfortable with his ability, though she saw that it was convenient with her easily changing mood. She did appreciate the effort he put in to not read her mind on purpose, and when it was so, she found him to be polite and intelligent, though a bit arrogant.
Tonight was a night of seeking answers. As she paced back and forth in the elegant bedroom they had given her, she tried to compile and organize her thoughts. It proved to be almost impossible; each thought provoked a new emotion that always overwhelmed her senses. She her perfect features transformed seamless from rage, to shock, to depression and back to a wrath that she had never felt before. It was this irate temperament that she felt the most. She had been pondering these things for a number of weeks, as much as her limited control allowed her. She knew that Edward suspected something, though she had somehow been able to restrain her train of thought when he was in range. If he knew what she had been planning recently, she at least appreciated that he had kept it to himself.
She had a vague idea of what she wanted out of this conversation with Carlisle; important portion being information. It had been almost 10 months since Carlisle had found her. She knew that his knowledge of what happened was incomplete, as was her own. Together, they would piece together the last moments of her human life. She had been deathly afraid of having this discussion; she wasn't sure if she wanted to know everything. But Carlisle and Edward were already talking about moving to another part of the country. They had moved away from Rochester only a few short weeks since Rosalie's turning, but now they were leaving the Northeast area entirely. They would probably not return for a very long time. They had told her that they made sure that everyone of their acquaintance had passed on before returning.
Once they left, Rosalie would no longer be tied there. It was the last connection she had and she wanted to accomplish a number of things before she was ready to leave. She wasn't sure she would be able to leave of her own accord, she had to leave with the Cullens. A deep shade of depression hit Rosalie as she thought of leaving. She had already lost her family, her future. There would be nothing left of her. Her eyes prickled softly as she walked to one window in her room, watching the snow tumbled softly in the midnight air. Christmas had just past and she wondered how her family had celebrated. Did they even mention her? Were they still hopeful to find her alive, somewhere? Had they laid her presents under the tree, waiting for her to walk through their door and open them?
She wasn't sure if Carlisle had decided when exactly they were to leave. Rosalie had to act now before it was too late. Navigating her way through the dozens of different emotions and thoughts that fought for her attention, she found sufficient determination to at least take her downstairs at her new, impossible speed and remember to be extraordinarily gentle when knocking on the door that lead to Carlisle's study.[tag: daddy! ]
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Feb 1, 2009 19:19:44 GMT -5
Sat in his study, as was his habit on the evenings when he was not at the hospital working against his nature, Carlisle pondered over his family. He had an encyclopaedia of medicine open in front of him, which he was in the process of reading from cover to cover, but it wasn’t vital new information, just a reread, and so he allowed his mind to wander. He now viewed the four of them strictly as a family: a mother, a father and two children. Anyone looking at them from the outside would see nothing more, though no one did look at them from the outside. Rosalie was still too young to be expected to function within a mile of a human; she was only a few months old. Even though his plan for Edward and Rosalie to find love fell flat on its face before it had even begun, he still saw that they were capable of love of another kind – it would just take a while to surface.
His thoughts remaining of his family, they turned to the newest addition to the fold, Rosalie. The beautiful young woman was showing praiseworthy control at her young age, though they had not truly tested her by taking her anywhere near a human yet – he wouldn’t chance it until both she and they were confident that she could handle the temptation. He worried, slightly, in a fatherly way, about what staying in this region was doing to her. Her last human memories were still quite vivid, he knew, from their discussions, and being trapped in the place that had hurt her so could not be good for her. Although they had moved away from the immediate area after her turning, he worried that being in the region was unfair to her and so he had made sure that he assured her that he, Esme and Edward were there for her. Her response to his wife was also nice to see, a natural relationship, though she had more spats than touching moments with Edward at the moment. He had confidence that would change though.
It was these happy thoughts that distracted him when he heard the tap at his study door, a gentle and deliberate knock, which piqued his curiosity. He sat up and closed the book that he had not been paying attention to, facing forward with a pleasant smile on his face.
“Come in,” he called, softly, knowing that Rosalie would hear him where she stood.
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Rosalie Hale
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire, PsychoBlonde
Over my pile of ashes.
Posts: 233
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Post by Rosalie Hale on Feb 7, 2009 0:44:41 GMT -5
Lack of patience was something that she had inherited in this new life, but luckily it was not tested and Carlisle quickly answered, letting her in. From the other side, she was able to distinctly hear the even breaths he took and the small muffled sound of him closing the book. She was slightly distracted by the smooth even sound for a few seconds, delaying her response and her entrance. She opened the door to smell the sweet fragrance Carlisle had filled his room with. The each of them had a slightly different scent, and Rosalie had proudly been able to discern between them after some a few short weeks into her new life when she really concentrated, which was always difficult. She looked at his face, seeing a brilliant smile; her first reaction was to return it with her own dazzling one. It was one of warmth, anxiety but also appreciation. Before the Cullens, no one had ever looked at her that way. As she took a step into the office and closing the door behind him, she vaguely remembered the blank expressions and smiles she'd been given; she'd been an object of observation. But Carlisle was actually glad to see her; to interact with her.
She glanced at the book in front of him, and her mind estimated the number of pages. Her eyes wandered to the books behind him and her calculations soon included the exact number of books with blue, brown and black covers. There was one particular volume on the third shelf that looked newer than the others; she wondered if it was due to a recent purchase or because it had been disturbed less from its place between the other books. It was near Carlisle's head, which instantly caught her attention again, and remembered her why she was there.
"Oh... sorry," she said, thoroughly embarrassed, her amber eyes dropping and a small smile striking her face. He had assured her that losing track of her thoughts was to be expected, but it still caught her off guard and she'd find herself staring into the same space for an hour or so. "I was just wondering about a few things you and Edward were discussing the other day," she told him, her eyes scanning the wall again; this time in search for a pattern among the bindings. She closed them, willing herself to concentrate before continuing. "I wasn't sure if anything had been decided on." She wasn't sure how she was to ask him anything. Though they never regarded themselves in such terms, Carlisle was the leader and Edward, who had been with him the longest, was a second in command of sorts. Esme was obviously a great focal point between the two of them, but she never made moves to dominate in any decision unless she had strong feelings against it. Either way, she wasn't sure if she was overstepping some sort of unknown vampire boundary by asking plans about something her opinion would have no effect over. She was afraid she would offend him, and her smile instantly disappeared, with lines of worry replacing it.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Feb 11, 2009 19:11:16 GMT -5
Carlisle’s eyes crinkled a little at the corners when he saw his daughter’s beautiful, radiant smile beam across the room towards him. Yes, she was still very much a newborn, but he had the patience for her distractible nature and had no qualms in sitting still for a few minutes while she gathered her thoughts and managed to put them into words. Perhaps that was why she got frustrated at Edward so easily – he probably sometimes knew what she was thinking almost before she did, after all, he had no such distractions. Ah well, that would fade in time. His own grin faded into a pleasant smile as he waited for Rosalie to tell him what she was there for, not needing any more than enquiring eyes. His smile lifted again from its frozen position as her eyes found his again. He hadn’t tried to force her attention to him, he was trying to help her concentrate, she didn’t need distracting away from her distractions, she needed to realise her original point of focus.
“Hello,” he said softly as she apologised to him, trying to stay still with just a couple of normal motions, such as human blinking to get her used to minor distractions in conversation. “You don’t need to apologise, Rosalie. You’re doing incredibly well, actually. Focus takes a lot of practice and you’re definitely getting there.”
He gave her an encouraging smile before quieting down to hear what she had to say. It wasn’t often that she came up to his study with a purpose other than roaming, and though anxiety didn’t show on her face, he was a little worried that something had upset or confused her.
“I see,” he uttered when she explained herself. He leaned forward, trying to catch her eyes in his once more to see if he could keep them whilst he simultaneously steeped his fingers together in thought. He should have known it was something like that and it was stupid of him not to have included her in on the discussions, but her level of concentration wasn’t really enough to explain to her properly in a group discussion. Like this, one on one, was much easier to captivate her attention. His golden eyes absorbed the changes in her expression and he ensured that he maintained the calm, comforting smile as he looked at her.
“Of course, you have a right to know – it is something for us all to have a say in,” he paused, strategically, as if he had to take a breath. “We had come to the decision to make a move north to Alaska, where we have some friends, in about a month. Do you have anything to weigh in?”
He watched his daughter carefully, her reactions were obvious at the moment, but he knew that she was going to be getting better at controlling herself soon and he wanted to learn her subtle expressions as soon as they surfaced.
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Rosalie Hale
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire, PsychoBlonde
Over my pile of ashes.
Posts: 233
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Post by Rosalie Hale on Feb 12, 2009 21:02:29 GMT -5
Again, his dazzling struck her, conjuring her own. Carlisle, Edward and Esme had been more beautiful than herself, invoking jealousy as a human. But now she felt only pleasure in seeing such radiance every day in the people that had welcomed her. They sometimes laughed innocently when they caught her staring at them, contemplating the impossible smoothness of their skin, the perfection of their features. She was just as distracted with her own image whenever she caught her reflection on anything. Her own beauty had been translated into a more magnificent incarnation in this new life, and it baffled her whenever she saw herself. Her red eyes had faded, and adopted the amber tones of the rest of the Cullens, and she could not conceive anything more perfect than herself. The Cullens had helped her and tried their best to comfort her. she could not imagine them leaving without her. She had never been neglected or forgotten in her life, she wouldn't be able to handle anything on her own.
She felt a mixture of frustration and bashfulness, which registered in her expression in equal, but short momentary lapses. She was grateful that Carlisle understood that it was difficult to keep one train of thought, but she felt like a child who didn't know when to stop eating too many sweets before feeling sick. But she took his gentle encouragement and used it to help her focus. There was a reason why she was here. She nodded, grateful and feeling even more welcome at her inclusion. It made her aware of the very real possibility that they would not be inviting her to Alaska. She wondered how long it would take for them to get there, and if she would feel the cold. How many friends were there, and were they as beautiful as Edward?
A month. It was enough, more than enough time for what she wanted to do. In fact, she might be able to elaborate her plans if she could keep her mind in check and not lose her nerve. But the thought of it alone resurrected the rage reaffirmed her conviction, contorting her beautiful features into a stunning snarl. She was glad she had not taken a seat for fear of damaging it. Though material possessions were no longer a worry, she was sure they all had something they were partial to. Perhaps this was a favorite chair of Carlisle's. "I have to finalize a few matters before we leave, Carlisle," she muttered, her voice threatening to break. "I would just like to know if I will have a home afterwards." The plea was evident in her voice. While she understood that she might not be welcome, she suddenly grew afraid to be alone in this life. She had never been neglected or forgotten in her life, and she already felt inconsolable loneliness at the thought of not having a home.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Mar 11, 2009 16:14:41 GMT -5
Again, Carlisle sat patiently and watched his daughter as she took in his words and compiled her own thoughts, or at least that is what he assumed she used her time to do. He knew that there must have already been something fairly grounded in her mind for her to have come to his study so purposely, for her to have not forgotten what that purpose was. His encouraging look did not fade as the snarl escaped the beautiful woman’s throat, though his eyebrows did rise slightly. It had come to a point where outbursts were still expected, but he considered it necessary to use slight indications when a reaction was too strong for the situation. A quirk of the eyebrow or a tilt of the head was usually enough; he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of reprimanding her for strength of opinion. Not yet, at least.
“Rosalie,” he said, his tone even as he leaned forward of his steeped hands, laying them flat on the desk as he leant. He sought eye contact with her once more, hoping that whatever agitation she was currently feeling wouldn’t interfere with her trust in him. As far as he was concerned he had never done anything to discourage trust in him, but he knew that when emotions were flying high, perceptions were liable to be skewed. “You are a part of this family now, just as much as Edward and Esme are. You will always have a home with us, so long as you wish for it to be here.”
He smiled at her a little, hoping to make her feel that she could open up more to him. He couldn’t pretend not to be concerned by what had made her ask such things, only being able to assume that she planned to do something that she considered… controversial. “Rose? Do you need help with any of these… matters? You can trust us with whatever you feel you have to do; it can be difficult to move away. Just let us know how we can help.”
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Rosalie Hale
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire, PsychoBlonde
Over my pile of ashes.
Posts: 233
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Post by Rosalie Hale on Mar 16, 2009 18:50:37 GMT -5
Her attention was caught by the slight movement Carlisle made, leaning forward and towards her. He seemed to be looking for her eyes, and she looked into his, trying to keep her focus. She almost forgot why he was looking at her like that until he spoke again. She sometimes felt like a stranger among the Cullens, but she could never find any hint of deception in anything they said. His words stroked her broken ego and a small, sad smile spread across her lips. She wondered if she would have found the reassurance in his words in life if she had been given he chance, but she quickly remembered that it would be impossible to ever know. "Thank you, Carlisle," she said, still standing and motionless in his office. "I wish I knew a way to repay everything you've done for me. And Esme and Edward as well." Though she had hardly been able to keep track of the winding trails of her overactive mind, she already knew that she loved them in the capacity they did for each other. Like family. It was there, even though she couldn't always wrap her mind around it.
It was an intense relief to hear Carlisle tell her that she had a home, a place to be, but she felt the relief drown against the horror of him offering his help. She would have turned pale if it were possible, and her topaz eyes were wide with surprise. "No," she said, feeling the panic overcome her. "No, I would never ask that of you!" She shook her head trying to maintain her composure, and it was enough for her to realize that she had gotten ahead of herself and should probably explain. "Carlisle, I know you have spent many years helping human lives," she said, still finding it odd to refer to them without having herself included. "What I have in mind does not fit in that... ideology, I suppose." Flashes of her fuzzy memory were erupting, and the feelings of loss and shame were brought up. Her head bowed down, knowing that the uncontrollable rage was next to come, and just shook her head. "Royce King," she said through gritted teeth. The words were enough, and the anger had filled her once more. She tried to keep herself still, though shaking, fearing that any movement would result in disaster. "You can't help."
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on May 6, 2009 19:39:49 GMT -5
Though he maintained his strong, fatherly stance, Carlisle could not help but notice the sombre little smile that Rosalie cast at him. His first instinct in this situation was to comfort, but he had more than become used to having to play things a little more tactfully if he was to keep everything balanced. He knew that if he was to step forward towards her, she would run a mile – well, maybe not quite so much now, but there was still a lot of trust to be established in their relationship. One day he would be able to show her more of what he was actually feeling himself, but right now he had to focus on her, he didn’t matter.
He nodded a little as Rosalie thanked him, but it was barely a fraction of an inch. He knew that her hyperactive reactions would pick up the slight movement, but hopefully it wouldn’t distract her at the same time. His expression remained neutral as she spoke, though he was a little concerned with the direction that the conversation was going in. It seemed to him that whenever repayment was mentioned it was immediately followed by some kind of departure, and it always meant an imbalance in the relationship, which he did not want her to feel.
“There is no need for you to feel that you need to repay us,” he told Rosalie, his voice soft and warm, encouraging. He had already now told her that she was a part of the family, but he didn’t yet know how she would deal with the fact that he already saw her as a daughter. He knew that being where they were, she still had a connection to this place and her old life and he had no desire to push her too far. His eyebrows quirked a little as she reacted, though, and immediately worry infiltrated his system as he wondered what she had gotten herself into – or what she intended to get herself mixed up in. Painful memories of Edward’s disappearance years previously resurfaced and if Rosalie chose to do the same then he wouldn’t stop her, but he wouldn’t enjoy the thought.
He gave one, firm nod, stronger than his last one, as she drew to the end of her somewhat mixed explanation. He could more or less understand the gist of it, though and it gave him pause for serious thought. Royce King was a monster, there were no two ways about it. If Edward had encountered him in his errant days, then he would have been made a meal of, but, as always, Carlisle believed in human punishment for human transgressions. He sat back a little, his golden eyes assessing Rosalie’s face in deep thought. Hopefully she would understand that this was something that he would have to bend his mind around himself and there was one aspect in particular that he hoped she was certain of.
“You’re right,” he said, softly, making sure that there was absolutely no judgement in the tone. He sat forward once more, keeping his gentle eyes upon her. “But do you understand what this will mean? If you spill his blood your instincts will resurface stronger than ever… I don’t want you to do anything that you’re going to regret because of him.”
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Rosalie Hale
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire, PsychoBlonde
Over my pile of ashes.
Posts: 233
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Post by Rosalie Hale on Nov 25, 2009 22:14:04 GMT -5
As she felt the purpose of this conversation being accomplished, Rosalie felt pieces of her mind pulling together in the same direction. it was a difficult thing to do because of her young age, but it was not unfamiliar. Only a few months before, she had felt her mind pull itself together when it encountered a specific thought in particular. The part of Rosalie that had been able to analyze anything past the next distraction told her that she could not leave the Northeast without seeing Royce for the last time. Not her mother. Not Vera and litte Henry. She was to see Royce. Little by little, whenever her thoughts came back to her plans for him, she felt her mind finding the cohesiveness it lacked as a newborn. It was frightening, because it usually ended in a fit of uncontrollable rage. But before her emotions overrode her, she was able to have clear moments of consecutive, uninterrupted thought. As Carlisle talked to her evenly with the intention of not provoking her, she felt a relief in the ability to truly appreciate it, rather than to just take it as a sign of benevolence.
Nodding slightly, Rosalie acknowledged Carlisle's concern for her bloodlust. It was going to be a great challenge to her control. In her moments of clarity, she had considered this. It had taken many tries to get a real conclusion, and at times she thought her conclusion had been too hasty, but in the end that she would not be tempted by his blood to that point. Shaking her head the tiniest bit, her eyes began to wander again as the ends of her thoughts became loose again. "I wish... I wish I could explain to you how it all seems like in my mind, Carlisle." Her eyes darted back and forth, fighting for concentration, but her enthusiasm was wrecking her focus. "It's taken me so long... of course nowhere near as long as we'll ever live... but my mind sees it." She wasn't sure if she was making sense, and it was beginning to frustrate her. Carlisle may not be able to understand, but she at least wanted to try to explain to him, just so he could know. He needed to know it. "I could never take his blood," she said after a long pause, her voice low, but fierce. She felt the venom spring to her throat at the thought of quenching her incredible thirst, but she knew that she would never. "I won't... I wish I knew how to explain it to you." Her eyes looked imploringly at Carlisle, almost wishing he had Edward's gift to pick the reasoning apart from the chaos in her head.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Mar 25, 2010 17:21:46 GMT -5
The concern that flooded Carlisle’s system as Rosalie hinted at her intentions towards those who affected her human life so much for the worse was intense, so much so that he found it quite difficult to stop it from showing too strongly on his features. However, he knew that showing too violent a reaction would only provoke the same in his newest daughter – it really hadn’t taken long for him to think of her in such a manner. Paying close attention to Rose as she tried to find the words to explain the what and the why of her intended actions, Carlisle lifted a hand, knowing that a slight physical cue would focus her attention on the movement.
“It’s okay Rose, just try to take it slowly,” he encouraged her, smiling openly in the hope that she would be able to confide in him. He had been around a long time now and though he didn’t always agree with what others did or believed in, he had learnt to understand and respect them and their decisions. He just wanted to make sure that his daughter was making an informed decision and one that she wouldn’t regret later.
“And have you thought forward to after the event?” he asked softly, attempting to catch her eyes with his to hold her attention a little longer – to make her consider the consequences. “After the vengeance has been satisfied and once it becomes a life taken?” There was no judgement in his tone, but he couldn’t say that he would help her with what she wanted to do. He was a doctor and he had taken an oath to do no harm and not only that, he had no desire to aid someone in doing harm to others.
“I have all the time in the world,” he told the newborn vampire as she expressed her frustration wanting to explain her thoughts to him. “I can see why it would plague you, what they did to you that night. I’m not saying that you’re not justified in wanting what you do, I’m just trying to make sure that you’re ready for what will happen next.”
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