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Post by Edward Cullen on Jan 5, 2009 22:53:39 GMT -5
(Timeline: Pre-Twilight: 1931)
It had been about three and a half years since Edward left home. Since his rebellion against Carlisle. He was angry when he left and filled resentment for his father's trying to curb his appetite. He hadn't been sold on the life of abstinence. He had never forgotten the look in Carlisle and Esme's eyes as he told them his decision to leave, and to try his first taste of human blood. It made him doubt whether a reunion was even possible.
He had been feeding off of humans for awhile now. Yes he had chosen his prey more carefully than any predator normally would, knowing their thoughts enabling him to choose only those who he deemed evil. But the blood he survived on was still human, and it left him with eyes that were crimson red. Embarrassed by the thought of having Carlisle see him that way now, he fed on a deer on his way. But Edward knew that one deer would not erase the evidence of years of murders that shone in his eyes. It had been a little difficult to stomach the animal blood after the purity of the human blood he had been living off of. He wondered if he'd even be able to go back now that he had tasted what he was designed to live off of. It was in his nature, and now that he had given in, could he still resist.
As Edward traveled he could only hope that he still knew where Carlisle and Esme were living. They were probably on their last year at the location that he had left them in, but if they had decided to pack up early, he would be lost. His only luck then would be to venture to Alaska to meet with the women of the Deanli clan to ask for guidance. Even that he wasn't sure he'd receive in his current state. He was ashamed of his actions. As justified as he felt, he had increasingly seen the monster inside of him as he came to the realization over the years that the body count he created was not justified by their own thoughts or actions. He could not play god with their lives.
Knowing his victims thoughts, even though they were bad ones, did not help him to escape the depression that came with having a conscience. He had reached the point where he knew he had to try to speak with his creator again. He would beg Carlisle's forgiveness and repent as he promised to recommit to his vision, one that Edward hoped he would be able to truly live by now.
As he neared the house his pace slowed. He was terrified of what was to come. He was ashamed of his actions, and knew that there would be disappointment from the people who had once been like parents to him. He knew that he didn't deserve a second chance with them. Not after he had thrown it all away. But when you lived forever, you couldn't live with the doubts of 'if only I had tried...' it would have weighed on his mind for eternity.
He stood in front of the doorway. Any doubts he had about them still living here were erased as he smelled their familiar and soothing scents. He hadn't forgotten them despite the time that had passed. He was nervous as he slowly lifted his hand to knock on the door of the house that he had once called home.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Jan 9, 2009 19:19:55 GMT -5
Three and a half years. It didn’t take a vampire’s level of attention to recall every detail of that time, when the boy he considered a son was away from the fold. Although he had allowed Edward to leave their house and their way of life without a fight, Carlisle had found it difficult to embrace the fact that he had failed the younger vampire. He could still picture the look of what he assumed was resentment on the boyish face as he turned his back on him for the last time. Since that day Carlisle had been in conflict, internally, with the freedom to know that no one could gauge his thoughts. He had really perfected his calm demeanour in that time.
He couldn’t decide whether he had made a mistake in transforming him at such a young age, whether his teaching, well, guiding, was inadequate, or whether it was just a journey that Edward needed to take to figure out who he was. He had hoped for the latter, that the young man needed time to figure out and experience everything that the vampire life could offer him. That, maybe, in a few years time, perhaps a lifetime, he would remember the lifestyle of the blond doctor and reflect upon his own. Carlisle could never condone murder in his house, but he could see why Edward needed to explore that side of his nature. He knew that he had at least some small effect on the boy’s life, at least, in that he was planning to use his gift to help him select his victims. Not that anyone deserved to die by a vampire’s hands, or teeth, in Carlisle’s opinion.
He couldn’t say that the past three and a half year had been awful, though, for he still had Esme, now his wife, by his side. She was an endless source of comfort, though he knew that she shared the same fears as he. They both still feared for Edward’s solace, for his soul, while he traversed the world under his own volition without the moral guidance, support and love of his family. Since Esme had come to the family, Carlisle’s concept of ‘love’ had taken on a new meaning. He hadn’t met anyone in his long life that was capable of such love as Esme, and the emotion had moved from the abstract and added itself to the compassion that he already possessed. He hadn’t seen what had driven Edward away, and assumed it was his pushiness, which he sought to avoid in future encounters.
He knew it was a vain hope, but he hoped to see the boy again some time, even if he was happy living off human blood. If that was how Edward chose to live, then Carlisle felt he ought to apologise from keeping him away from his true nature for so long. And if he was alone and needed help, then of course Carlisle would do anything he could to aid him.
He sat back on the sofa and ran this fingers through his blond hair as he heard the knocker sound on the hard wood of the door. A delicate blond eyebrow quirked for a moment, before falling back to its usual place. It wasn’t often they had visitors, in fact, it wasn’t ever they had visitors. He inhaled deeply to take in the multifaceted scent that lay in the air and held the air in his lungs. Was that who he thought it was? He would never forget the scent of his eldest son, from now until he was aged over a millennia. He walked as slowly as he could force himself to, wondering where Esme was in the house as he reached out a pulled the door open. Immediately his light amber eyes melted into a warm toffee colour, full of joy and welcome. He opened the door wide, which could be considered to be fairly reckless, and smiled at his son.
“Edward,” he said, in greeting, his tone as warm as his expression. He instantly took in the boy’s appearance, looking for any hardship, though that would be difficult to gauge on a vampire’s tough body. It was only as an afterthought that he turned his attention to his eyes. A vivid crimson, just muted by something else, though that could just be hunger. Despite the obvious fact that Edward had swayed significantly from Carlisle’s way of life, the overwhelming acceptance and love remained constant in his thoughts. In fact, he couldn’t believe his luck. “We weren’t expecting you…”
His voice, at the last, was soft and under spoken as usual.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Jan 11, 2009 1:22:02 GMT -5
Edward could hear the soft footsteps approaching as the scent of his father grew stronger as he neared the door. If vampire's physical reactions to emotional states were the same as human ones he would have been trembling at this point. He was terrified, and anxious of what would happen. He might be rejected outright. Or even worse, he may try to convert back to Carlisle's lifestyle and find out that it was no longer possible for him and be forced to leave once more.
Edward took a deep breath of the air around him. He didnt know how long after this he'd be able to smell the scent of his father. It soothed him. Edward stared straight ahead as the door opened, watching the expression on his father's face for a reaction to his presence more than looking into his mind. Edward didn't feel he had a right to intrude Carlisle's mind right now, not after everything he had done to him. The way Edward had acted was beyond forgiveness.
Edward knew that there was no way to hide his eyes from his father. The color of which displayed the proof of his guilt. He knew if the way that Edward had behaved before he left wasnt enough reason, his eyes would surely be just cause for Carlisle to never want him in his life again. But as Edward looked ahead at his father, he saw the familiar warmth in his smile. He was friendly to everyone, even those like himself who didn't deserve it.
He heard him say that he hadn't been expecting Edward. Though there was no hint of unwelcome in his tone, Edward feared for the worst. He tried to gather his thoughts a moment before speaking, trying to appear calmer than the last time he left, as a rash boy who was displeased with the life he had been given, when it was a life where he should have had no wants for anythinig more.
"I realize it is unexpected...If you would like me to leave I will" He told Carlisle, refraining from asking him to hear him out or even give him the chance to apologize. Carlisle didn't even owe him that much, and if he wished him gone, Edward would live with it, knowing that at least he had tried.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Jan 12, 2009 18:51:53 GMT -5
As soon as Carlisle heard the doubt in Edward’s voice, his hands shot up in protest. He had absolutely no intention of driving his son away from him once more, he would be a better father this time. He was curious to find out the motive of his return to the ’family home’, did he want to return to their way of life? He hoped so, not just because of the moral implications, but also for Esme. He had gotten used to human blood in his long years in the hospital, but Esme was still quite young, it wouldn’t be fair on her to expect her to live with one that feeds off humans. But he couldn’t throw Edward out either. He would never do that. He shook the glimmer of the thought from his head and concentrated on the joy at his son’s return.
“Unexpected and a small miracle. Come in, Edward,” he told him, his tone warm, joyful. He extended a hand and put it on the boy’s shoulder, squeezing it slightly to prove the sincerity of his words - they were men of the 1930s, after all. “You will always be welcome in this family. Come inside so we can talk properly.”
Even though the house was, as always, remote, there was no sense in having a precarious conversation in the open. And he wanted Edward to feel he belonged, he wanted him not to have to feel that he needed to leave again. Not under such circumstances. Love, acceptance and endless, unruffled patience emanated from Carlisle. He desperately wanted to understand his son, why he changed his mind about the vegetarian lifestyle, what is experience was like, why he was back, what he wanted. Carlisle would do anything to make Edward’s life more tolerable.
“I know that you probably don’t want to go through it,” he began, carefully. “Just give me a chance to understand. There‘ll be something we can do for you, we’re your family - just tell us what you need.”
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Jan 13, 2009 3:33:25 GMT -5
As Esme sat crossed leg on the floor of the room she shared with her husband, Carlisle, her ears pricked at the sound of a knock on the door. As far as she knew they hadn't been expecting any visitors, in fact, they never really did. No one ever stumbled upon their place. She focused on the sounds, listening as Carlisle stood up to answer the door. She listened as he greeted the unexpected visitor.
And if her heart was still beating it would have stopped at the name her husband spoke. Edward. It had been years since he had left them, three and a half to be exact. Left them to explore this life on his own. Left them without a word of where he'd go, if they'd ever see him again. Her heart had broke when he told them, she wanted to hold on to him, make him stay and never leave. But she hadn't, deep down she had known he'd needed to learn the different ways. She had always hoped he'd come back, at least to visit, and now it seemed those hopes were happening.
Esme stayed, planted on the spot on the floor, still shocked by what she had heard. Her ears remained focused on the conversation happening downstairs. Easing herself up off the ground in one silent movement, her hearing remained focused on the two below. Slowly, even by a human's standards, she made her way to the open door frame, pausing there she took the first unnecessary inhale of air since she had first heard Carlisle say his name. Any doubts before that this could possibly not be Edward, her son, were washed away as the familiar scent wafted through her nostrils.
Not a moment passed as she made her way from her room to the balcony of the second story of their home. As she stared down into the living room her gold eyes immediately pinpointed him and she felt as if she would collapse. It was the worst feeling, a mother watching her son disappear, unsure if he'd ever return. And now he was back. Esme didn't care what he had done, what had gone one while he was gone, if he had killed anyone. None of it mattered. All that mattered was her son was back. For how long she was unsure, but that didn't matter right now either.
Her hand clamped around the fragile wooden banister as she stood there at the top step. She could hear the wood protest at the pressure she forced upon it, but she ignored it. Her eyes stayed focused on the still familiar face of the son that had gone. "Edward," she whispered out on a choked sob.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Jan 13, 2009 11:33:28 GMT -5
Any doubt that Edward had about whether he was welcome here was immediately erased as Carlisle welcomed him inside. The hospitality he showed was a credit to his character. While Edward had never been able to picture Carlisle acting cruel or shutting him out, he couldn't imagine being in his father's position and not wanting to get rid of the troublesome and ungrateful son who had left their home.
Edward saw the hope in the situation as he saw the warmth in his father, but knew this didnt mean he would be allowed to become anymore than one of their many aquaintances. Carlisle had three and a half years to possibly decide that the situation was better with just him and his mate. Edward knew from his travels with Carlisle that when vampires traveled together, it was usually mates. Perhaps Carlisle and Esme now preferred it this way. They would have their privacy. Carlisle no longer needed Edward as a companion, as he had Esme by his side and he surely didn't need to risk his family structure by allowing the boy back. Edward knew that if he did move back in, it would be difficult as he attempted to readjust to living as a vegetarian. It was a lifestyle he wasn't sure he could manage again, and it was a dangerous risk for Carlisle to be taking if he did allow him in. In Edward's mind as he thought over the options, it seemed more and more like a hopeless cause. He had no right to be coming back to Carlisle and Esme like this, to intrude on them. He had given up his right to be a part of the family when he had left them. He immediately had the urge to turn back and run back out the door, afraid to see the look in Carlisle's face when Edward told him of the people he had killed, and Carlisle would have to show him the door.
Edward kept himself from looking back towards the door as the option tempted him, instead following his father inside, after feeling the reassuring hand on his shoulder. Even now Carlisle knew when he needed reassurance. "Thank you" He replied softly, not sure how after everything Edward had done to him, Carlisle could still tell him so sincerely that he was welcome in this family.
Edward looked around the familiar room, having thought when he left that he'd never see it again. It touched his heart when Carlisle spoke to him saying they were still family and wanted to help him. "I will go through anything you need to hear" Edward told him, wanting him to know he'd remain honest with him. He took a deep breath, filling up his lungs, knowing he needed the air. "I'm sorry...more than I know how to tell you, for leaving the way I did, and taking you and everything you gave me for granted..."
Edward tried to think of what else he had wanted to say, having practiced over and over various ways he could attempt to repent to his father and show his remorse, but before he could continue he heard his name called from the top of the stairs. Edward looked up, seeing the shock on his mother's face. "Esme..."
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Jan 16, 2009 4:23:56 GMT -5
As she stared down from the top of the staircase she fought every urge to fly down the stairs and wrap her lost son in a bone crushing embrace. To never let go, never allow him to leave again, to break her heart in such a way. Staring down at him her eyes tingled, a sensation she knew, that if she had the ability to produce tears would have them streaming down her pale face.
Slowly, even for a human, she walked down the stairs, not taking her eyes of the bronze haired boy that had showed up out of nowhere, afraid that if she turned away for a moment he would disappear again. Though part of her wanted to clutch him to her, another part wanted to yell at him, scold him for leaving them, not telling them where he'd go, if he'd ever be back.
Reaching the bottom step she finally pulled her eyes away from him, turning to find her husband. At the same pace she had set before she went to his side, reaching a hand out to slide around his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Shifting her gaze back to Edward she remained speechless, only giving him a signature, warm, welcoming smile.
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Feb 1, 2009 20:23:43 GMT -5
Carlisle continued to smile at his son in that warm, calm manner, accepting his thanks and his apologies. He could see the genuine conflict going through the boy’s system and noticed the glances he cast back to the door. It made him uneasy to see, but he would always leave the option always open to him. If Edward was only here for a visit, then so be it, it would be better than nothing, though he sincerely hoped that he was there to join them again on a more permanent basis. He nodded as Edward offered to tell him all he needed to know. It was nice gesture, for his experiences were probably very private, and Carlisle could clearly see that the boy was trying to mend bridges.
He looked up as Esme padded down the stairs and came to stand by him, smiling at her as she gripped his hand. The look they exchanged was charged with love and commitment and, above all, hope. The glance only lasted for one moment, but it was vibrant, and it carried over when Carlisle readdressed Edward with his gaze. They all remained standing, all old enough to miss the strangeness of their statue-like poises.
“You have done nothing that requires you to be forgiven,” he told him. “But if that will make you feel better, than I can honestly assure you that you have both of our full forgiveness. We understand that you needed to try out a different life – I couldn’t keep you against your will. It’s better that you experience all you need to in order to find yourself. And anything that we have offered you in the past, will always be open to you, no matter what you decide.”
He paused, knowing that he was coming to what would be considered to be the most uncomfortable, private aspect of Edward’s time away from the fold.
“I see that you did try to live off human blood for the duration, which you know is not something we easily live with,” he spoke gently, hoping that his words would not evoke too much guilt in his son. It needed saying, but he wasn’t aiming to make Edward feel bad for his life decision. So long as he wasn’t here to endanger either himself or Esme, Carlisle would embrace him as a human blood drinker, or as a vegetarian, though it would prove difficult, even for him. He kept the negativity out of his thoughts, though. “As you can probably surmise, we are very hopeful to accept you back into our arms and our home. So I must ask… are you here for a visit, or are you to become a son to me once more?”
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Post by Edward Cullen on Feb 17, 2009 23:40:18 GMT -5
If vampires naturally reacted the same way as humans under situations of high emotion, Edward's eyes would have been brimming with tears, his heart would have been racing to palpable beats against his chest and he probably would have been shaking in anticipation. His emotions right now were high. The fear, the doubt, the guilt, the love and longing all mixed up making him wonder if he had been ready to make this visit today, if he was really strong enough to do this. But his posture remained perfectly still and calm in appearance, having lost the bit of human relaxation he used to have when attempting to blend into society. The only display of his emotions were the subtle movements of the facial muscles and the look in his eyes, though he was sure that was a enough that both Esme and Carlisle could probably still read him like a book. But he worried that seeing him in pain would cause them to take him back out of pity, and not make the decision out of what they actually wanted for themselves. Edward had been selfish when he had left, he didnt want to return the same way. His outlook had changed.
"You are, as always, too kind to me" Edward said softly, lowering his gaze as Carlisle told him he needed no forgiveness. Edward knew the truth was far from it and felt even more guilty hearing Carlisle still come to his defense. He had been trying to control himself from hearing their thoughts since his arrival, but the surge of emotion that flowed through him hearing Carlisle offer up everything to him once more made Edward lower his control enough to hear the sincerity and love still present in his father's thoughts.
"I shouldn't have left...not when you gave me everything. A home, a family...you taught me so much. I shouldnt have needed to try anything...you never did" Edward said, raising his eyes to meet Carlisle and Esme again. "I failed you both and would not think ill of either of you if you recinded that offer. You two have each other...I can survive on my own knowing that I have gotten your forgiveness"
Edward took another deep breath, having emptied his longs of their capacity and needing to take another moment. Every urge inside of him was berating him for what he just said, not wanting to do anything to change their mind on welcoming him back to the family, but he tried to control the selfish impulse. He knew he would ask to come back, but he had to at least give them the choice first, and know that they were making the decision they felt was right for them as well, not just for him.
Edward's eyes immediately lowered again as Carlisle mentioned knowing that he survived on humans while he was away. There was no feeling of being scolded in Carlisle's voice but Edward still felt like a disappointment. He was ashamed of the lifestyle he had chosen for himself. The thoughts of his victims, though killers themselves, still haunting him. No matter what justification he tried to use, it didn't ease the way it made him feel; no better than they were.
Edward kept his eyes lowered as he heard Carlisle's question of whether he was here to stay or for a visit. He kept his head down for a moment as he paused, but then looked up, looking between the both of them with complete openess and sincerity."I want to try a life of abstaining from human blood once more...but I dont know if I'm strong enough" He began, feeling grateful that vampires were blessed with the ability to keep their voice smooth and unshaking when filled with intense emotion. "More than anything I want to be your son"
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on Mar 11, 2009 18:25:14 GMT -5
Carlisle’s brow kinked a little as he heard the flood of Edward’s guilty words, wishing that he could speak to his son about this without upsetting him so. He knew it was impossible, though; all he could do was try to sooth the situation and make him feel welcome once more. He didn’t like to hear that it was his own presence and success in this lifestyle that made Edward feel so inadequate. That had never been the intention.
“Edward,” he said; his tone firm enough to get the boy’s attention in case he managed to get himself worked up enough not to listen properly. “It was never my intention for you to become a perfect copy of me and my ideals. Yes, I tried my best to be a role model to you, but that was all about options that you had to take to find out – as trite as it sounds – who you are in this life. All I could do was try to show you what I thought was right…”
He trailed off, trying to see if his words had any affect, his golden eyes searching his son’s face. Although it was well intentioned, he couldn’t help but hear the slightly preaching nature to his words and only hoped that Edward wouldn’t take it as such – maybe he had picked up some aspects from his father after all. He inhaled, a necessary motion to speak further. “It would have been more of a failure for you to suffer in silence just to appease me. We would never dream of rescinding anything of our invitation. We all make our mistakes, have our hiccups, what makes us family is that we stand by each other through them.”
Carlisle’s amber eyes didn’t flinch from Edward’s form, noting the way that the boy collapsed into what looked like an ashamed stance. He was satisfied from this that he had seen for himself what it meant to drink blood, to take a life and yet he had not been swayed into believing it to be his nature, which further satisfied the assumption that he had made that Edward was a soul worth saving. Whether the boy believed he had a soul or not, Carlisle knew there was good in him, the fact that he was back here in this house and willing to apologise, that was enough to show him that.
When Edward looked up again, Carlisle met the boy’s gaze with an equal openness and honesty, expressing a warm, comforting demeanour in the hopes that it would relax him. He smiled upon hearing that Edward wanted to try the vegetarian lifestyle once again; confident that he had it in him to succeed and do just as well he did himself one day. There was no doubt in Carlisle’s mind that he had the strength, and perhaps it was this little sojourn that would give him the will to succeed as well. He stepped forward with a proud, happy smile on his face, resting his hand on Edward’s shoulder once more in a gesture of comfort and welcome. “That you will always be.”
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Post by Edward Cullen on May 3, 2009 16:21:25 GMT -5
“You have been an excellent role model to me. I’ve never known a better one. “ Edward told Carlisle truthfully. Even in his human life he’d never had a man he looked up to more than Carlisle. Even his own human father didn’t hold such strong morals and values as Carlisle, or work so hard trying to instill the same into Edward. While Edward believed that their souls had been damned for what they were, if not lost completely, he knew that if any of them had earned a chance at redemption it would have been Carlisle.
Edward didn’t see Carlisle’s words as being preachy. He felt as though he deserved a lecture from his father, so wouldn’t have felt it was out of place at all had Carlisle gone that route. But he was ever the understanding man. “If I had half your wisdom I would have followed your example completely…you were right”
Edward gave a nod as he listened to Carlisle speak of how he thought it was better that Edward explored that side rather that suffer in silence. He supposed he was right, at least now he didn’t hold the same resentment he had before he left. He had more reason now than before to want to abstain from human blood. He didn’t want to have to deal with the guilt anymore, to feel that darkness grow inside of him with each life that he took. He had grown to hate himself for his choices and wanted a purer life. He nodded again as he mentioned how they all made their mistakes.
“For what its worth, none of…them were innocent” he said, struggling to find a better word that didn’t sound as repulsive. Victims? Meals? Either word would have definitely put them off even more, he knew they’d understand who the Them was he referred too. Each of them had hurt people in the past and intended to hurt more in the future. Edward had made sure of it. Edward wasn’t sure bringing this up would help or hurt his case with them, but he wanted to be honest, and hoped it would show that he hadn’t been a complete monster in his time away.
Seeing Carlisle’s warm and loving smile, it was hard for Edward not to feel a bit of reassurance and acceptance. It quickly was returning him to the familiar feeling of being in this home with the man he had traveled for years with. He found himself returning the smile as he felt Carlisle’s hand resting on his shoulder once more and assuring him that he would always be their son. “That’s more than I could have hoped for from this visit…I missed you both.”
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Post by Carlisle Cullen on May 20, 2009 16:34:08 GMT -5
Carlisle bowed his head a little at Edward’s assessment of his ability as a role model, satisfied that his previous words had not come off as preaching, or, if they had, the boy did not mind them. It relieved him a little to know that Edward did not take his words wrongly – he had no desire to alienate him by sounding too superior, though he did hope that his words would have some small effect upon him. Like all fathers, Carlisle wanted what was best for his son and his friend. A small, calm smile grew on his face as Edward continued to speak about his wisdom and he shook his head ever so slightly.
“Wisdom has to be learnt by experience, it can’t be taught. It was a quirk of my personality that turned me on to this way of life, but it took me a long time to find it. If you’ve come to the judgement that what we have been trying to do these last few years is right, then I am happy that we have the capacity to think in the same way,” Carlisle uttered, his soft voice gliding easily over the words. The smile remained in place as he spoke, eager that his son realise that he was not at fault in wanting to challenge what he was taught, that there was no expectation of perfect adherence when he had decided to stay with Carlisle in the beginning. Even Esme had slipped up since her transformation, and though it had been something that had taken her a while to come to terms with, Carlisle had never and would never judge her, or anyone else, for their mistakes.
His light, golden eyes flicked up at Edward as he heard the beginnings of the explanation that the boy was beginning to wake. He knew that as soon as his thoughts responded to the information, that Edward would know his exact thoughts upon the matter. From Carlisle’s perspective, all human life was strictly out of bounds. No matter what crime the criminal had committed, they did not deserve to be made a meal out of. He tilted his head a little, looking almost apologetic as he knew that his thoughts will have streamed through Edward’s head as they occurred to him. He felt he owed the boy an explanation, so he added, “Human laws, for human indiscretions.”
“As we did you, Edward,” Carlisle returned the heartfelt sentiment with a smile, removing his hand from his son’s shoulder after a few seconds. “We’ve all made our mistakes, unconditional love and acceptance is what makes us a true family.”
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Esme Cullen
Dazzled
Vegetarian Vampire
The Mother
Posts: 164
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Post by Esme Cullen on Jun 2, 2009 0:23:49 GMT -5
From the moment she had realized the stranger that had happened upon their secluded home was in fact not the stranger she had expected, but rather the son that had left years before Esme had said just one word.
His name. The only word she had found herself even remotely capable of saying. Her mind and body raging with ever imaginable emotion. From happiness, surprise, pain, anger, gratitude, love, and more. All of them swimming through her veins and consuming her entirely. Some stronger than others. Like the past pain of Edward's disappearance fresh as he stood before her, only to be washed away with the more forceful love that she felt toward him and the relief that he was alright. That he had come back.
She stood beside Carlisle, quiet as she observed and listened to the conversation go on. Grateful when Carlisle would speak on her behalf, afraid that she would say the wrong thing or turn into the emotional wreck she was fighting to keep at bay.
Esme's heart broke when she listened to Edward call himself a failure. She felt he was far from it. She couldn't bear to listen to his guilt ridden words. The idea of him having consumed the blood of a human didn't phase her. What bothered her more was how he was feeling, as if they wouldn't take him back into their lives. She would accept Edward back no matter what. He was part of their family. Her son. Her lips formed into a shy smile.
Esme nodded her head in agreement. The only movement, minus the smile, she had made since joining them downstairs. "Yes, Edward," she agreed. Her voice was strained with emotion. "We have missed you so much."
With that she found herself unable to help her next movement, her emotional control failing. It took what little she did have left to keep from launching at him instead of taking the slow steps closer as she wrapped her arms firmly around his waist, tightly embracing him in a hug, the side of her face pressed against his chest.
"Please, don't leave again," she told him. Her words weren't begging or questioning, but rather demanding. She knew that if he left their family again she wouldn't be able to handle it. Before when he had made the decision to go on his own she had let him, not fighting to make him stay. If he decided to leave once more she couldn't say she'd do the same.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Jul 5, 2009 13:57:10 GMT -5
Even though Edward knew that Carlisle was being modest, trying to brush off his wisdom, Edward knew that there was more to it than that. It wasn't just experience that made Carlisle wise or a little quirk in his personality. Edward knew that even when Carlisle was first turned, he was wiser about all of this than Edward ever believed he really could be. He had made so many mistakes, sometimes it felt as though he still was that 17 year old that he appeared to be, though his years he knew should have made him wiser.
Edward nodded as he concluded that he'd be happy if Edward had decided what they had been doing was right. "I do believe that. I'm sorry that I had to go against you in order to realize it" He said honestly. He didn't know how Carlisle and Esme could not be disappointed in him for having left before. Edward was disappointed in himself and even more so with the urges that plagued him even now, creating the doubt of whether he could ever really go back to the vegetarian life.
As Edward explained about his victims in the past, and his strictness in picking them, he caught the brief thought that passed through Carlisle's mind, that no matter what their crime it was still a human life and didn't deserve what Edward had done to them. Edward felt the guilt, though he saw Carlisle's apologetic look and knew his thoughts weren't meant to make him feel worse. He nodded at his father's statement about human laws. He agreed with that now, even if it had taken him awhile.
Edward couldn't help but smile back with relief as he voiced that they had missed him too. It was a worry that he had when he began considering returning. That he'd be forgotten or that they'd think themselves better off just the two of them. But he knew now the sincerity of Carlisle's words. "Thank you, I'm happy to be a part of this family" He said honestly, knowing he'd never take it for granted again.
Edward turned his attention back to his mother. Esme had been quiet since he came and he knew it must be a shock to her, but there was nothing but love on her face. He could hear in her thoughts that she shared the same acceptance of him that Carlisle did. She wanted him back, something that brought a smile to his face. After saying she missed him, she launched herself at him in a hug.
Edward's smile widened with relief and put his arms around her as she told him not to leave again. "I won't, not if I can help it" He said knowing the only thing that could make him leave was if he wasn't strong enough to return to their lifestyle. It would be torturous to go but he knew it would be the only fair thing to do if it came to it. He would fight hard though to stay with them, knowing how lonely it was without them. "I'm so glad you were both still here...I was afraid you would've moved on by now"
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Esme Cullen
New to Town
Vegetarian Vampire
"There are exceptions to every rule."
Posts: 11
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Post by Esme Cullen on Apr 2, 2010 23:14:18 GMT -5
Esme frowned slightly at Edward as she placed a hand to the side of his face and looked him in the eye. "We could never have left without knowing you could find us," she insisted. "Carlisle and I always had hope you would return to us anyway." Smiling ever so sweetly, she removed her hand and took a fraction of a step backward.
She thought about the days and nights that blended into one another over the last three years or so, give or take, since Edward had left and how she had filled her time while Carlisle was working at the local hospital. They kept to themselves as usual, living on the outskirts of town, only making appearances once in a while to save face and not raise too many questions. It was lonely at times, when Carlisle was working and it had just been her in the house. It was those time she really missed Edward, another reason she couldn't have left where they were. She couldn't bear it if he had come back and they weren't there.
"We were actually thinking of heading to Rochester, in New York, next. We've already been in this place a good enough time. Not that we've been here too long, but it will be even better now to leave with you back. A fresh start?"
And I can't wait to start decorating a new home, she thought, knowing full well Edward would hear her. She smiled at him and linked her arm through Carlisle's, giving her husband a loving squeeze.
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