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Post by Matilda Stone on Jun 15, 2009 20:21:42 GMT -5
{One Year Post BD After Jealousy Thread}
The Stone household was quiet that day, a fact that Matt was more than thankful for as she paced the length of the house repeatedly for the hour and a half that remained before Laurie was to pick her up for their date. Or at least she would have been thankful if she could think of anything else other than the possibility that Laurie was cheating on her, or planning to cheat on her, or planning to break up with her. As she continued to pace the possibilities got worse and worse and the likelihood that she would end the day single was becoming higher and higher. She hadn’t even gotten dressed up in the outfit that she had lain out at the foot of her bed that morning ready for the date.
Now, as the time for being picked up grew closer, the images that she had seen at the diner that day had begun to diminish, all but one. When she had first seen Laurie reach into his inside pocket, as she had stood frozen with one hand on the metal door handle to the diner, and pull out a ring her heart had just about stopped. Her dark eyes flicked from her blonde boyfriend to the equally blonde woman that seemed overly happy at the presentation. Matt’s thoughts had immediately turned to the ex-fiancée that Laurie used to have – could that woman have been her? Or was this someone new? If it wasn’t her then he would have definitely been cheating on her, something that she hadn’t previously even begun to imagine Laurie doing to her.
Her eyes turned up to the clock on one of her circuits and she peered anxiously out of the window, twisting her hands together. She had no idea what she was supposed to say to him; he didn’t know that she had seen them, so maybe she should give him the chance to explain? But how long was she supposed to give him? How could she bear to be broken up with? Maybe she should take the initiative, demand an explanation, but that level of rude bluntness she had to build up to. That’s what the hundreds of laps of her living room and kitchen were for.
She pressed the palm of her left hand on to her forehead and closed her eyes as she continued to pace, wondering how this could be happening… For the past few months, almost since they had even begun dating, she had sort of assumed that he would one day be her husband, not asking some blonde in a crummy Reservation diner. She cleared her throat, pink spots staining her tan cheeks as a flash of the future she had always foreseen for them flashed before her eyes again – the two of them in a modest house, nothing too showy, a couple of children, a dog, smiles… A strangled sob sounded at the back of her throat and she began to pace faster, knowing that he would be there soon, biting back tears and judgement until she could talk to him.
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Jun 15, 2009 22:08:44 GMT -5
Laurence looked down at the time on the dashboard radio of his car. He was running a little late. He knew he wouldn’t be on time to get Matt today, something he regretted, but his day had been full of unexpected surprised. He hoped 10 minutes wouldn’t be something that Matt would hold against him.
Laurence thought about the events of the day. The first surprise had come at the clinic. Instead of his normal patients, his sister was there. He had thought she was still in Australia and she had thought he was still in New York, yet they both managed to end up in the same place. Once he got over the shock of her being there, he had to deal with why she had come. Birth control pills. He couldn’t believe that his little sister, his baby sister was considering having sex. He was glad she was being responsible about it, but he still didn’t like the idea. But he knew him not giving her the pills wouldn’t stop it, only make her have to go to someone else, so he got her the script.
Once his shift was over, Laurie had asked Lyndal to go with him to the diner, get a cup of coffee and some pie. The two had some time to catch up, and Laurie made sure he found out where his sister was staying. He didn’t want to go so long without talking to her again. He even showed her the ring he was planning to give to Matt. The thought that he even had a ring for her terrified him. He loved Matt with all his heart, but the idea of being engaged again still was hard for him to deal with.
Laurie pulled into the Stone driveway. He noticed her parents cars were gone, and knew that Leo was often away with his girlfriend so Matt was probably alone. He hoped she wouldn’t be too mad that he was a little late. He stayed at the diner a little longer than planned and then drove Lyndal back to her host family’s house. Laurence walked up to the front door and knocked lightly, waiting for Matt to answer, feeling that excited feeling he got everytime he got ready for a date with her.
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Post by Matilda Stone on Jun 17, 2009 21:06:28 GMT -5
As the time for Laurence to come pick her up came and began to go, Matt stopped her pacing, facing the mantelpiece clock as if she was trying to stare it into submission whilst her teeth made short work of her lower lip. Her legs felt funny not moving after so long, kind of tingly, like they weren’t hers, but not much of anything felt right when she was in this frame of mind. She wondered, in a fit of uncharacteristic paranoia, whether Laurie was even going to bother showing up for the date if his ex- had already agreed to marry him – why bother? However, although thoughts of the calibre did make her feel more nervous, there were still a few shreds of her usual sensible nature in there – she knew that her boyfriend was much to nice and polite to just stand her up like that.
But then, if he had just asked someone else to marry him, then was he really as nice and perfect as she had thought? She groaned at herself, knowing her thoughts stupid and feeling not at all herself as the green-monster of jealousy ran rampant through her mind. She took a few deep breaths, the pink spots on her cheeks growing deeper as the rest of her face slowly blanched at the lengthening time – ten minutes was a long time when all you was doing was staring at the clock.
However, much to her combination of relief, misplaced annoyance and confusion, ten minutes passed as she heard the light knock on the door; a knock that she now recognised from other dates that they had been on, and other times that he had picked her up from her house. She looked down to her scruffy jeans and faded t-shirt, definitely not date material and in a rush of nerves she wondered if she could feign being ill just so that she could avoid this conversation. She did so hate confrontation, but she knew that she needed to get to the bottom of this; if she didn’t then she knew that it would drive her crazy. Plus, she probably looked a mess and when she was emotional she could generally be read like a book.
She waited for a few moments before turning to answer the door, which was highly unusual for her as she usually bounded to the door as quickly as possible when her boyfriend arrived. Even the dog was giving her a funny look, confused by his mistress’ behaviour over the last couple of hours. She looked at Wolf with morose brown eyes and sighed, “You still love me, don’t you, Wolf?”
She bent to pet the dog and then slowly straightened back up, knowing that she couldn’t leave Laurie just stood on the door step all night and he had already been there for over a minute. “Wish me luck,” she whispered before stalking towards the front door and pulling it open to see the man that she tragically loved.
“Hey,” she uttered, very evenly, suspiciously evenly, her face an odd combination of red and white whilst her dark eyes shone ominously and she stuck her hands into the pockets of her battered lounging jeans. Definitely not going out dress, no welcoming hug; she looked strange. Inside she was at panic stations trying to figure out what to do, invite him, confront him now, say nothing and just go out, pretend she’s sick. Eventually she stood aside from the door, her hands still in her pockets. “Come in.”
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Jun 20, 2009 22:54:50 GMT -5
Matt seemed to take longer to get to the door. Laurie took that as a good sign. If she wasn’t ready yet either, maybe she hadn’t even noticed that he was a little late. Ten minutes really wasn’t that bad. And dating a doctor she had to know there would be times he’d be running late, or leaving early. He found himself smiling already at the mere thought of Matt. She was such a light in his life. He wasn’t sure he’d ever want to date again after his failed engagement, but now, he almost ready to try it again. He wanted to spend his life with Matt, he was sure of it.
Laurie straightened his clothes a bit, knowing that after a long day at work and then the time in the coffee shop he may have gotten a bit disheveled and wanting to look his most presentable to her. He still always tried to impress her, as much as he had that first date, the failed first date. He never wanted to stop hoping to make a good impression on her. She always made one on him.
Laurie could hear footstepts approaching the door. The smile already on his face from anticipation as she opened it. “Matt, hi!” He greeted her happily but saw her even expressioned face as she greeted him and told him to come inside. He wanted to hug her, give her a tasteful peck on the lips, but something about her seemed to warn him not to try any of that right now.
Laurie looked down at her outfit. He still thought she looked beautiful, but she definitely wasn’t dressed how she usually did for their dates. He wouldn’t mind if she just wanted to hang out at home, watch movies, order in. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well and just needed a little TLC. Something he’d be happy to provide.
He stepped inside and gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I’m a little late, something came up” He told her. “Is everything alright? You don’t seem yourself…”
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Post by Matilda Stone on Jun 22, 2009 14:13:43 GMT -5
Matt had to quickly turn away from her boyfriend as she caught the welcoming smile, so familiar and yet it still had the power to stun her with its beauty. That wasn’t what she wanted just now, she had decided to confront him about what had happened that day, but she couldn’t do it while she was ever being disarmed by everything she loved about him. She forced her hands to stay inside her jean pockets, gripping on to the lining so that they didn’t move of their own volition. Was it wrong that she still wanted to hug all her worries away with him when he was the cause of them? Probably, she had fallen hard for this one.
She glanced back at him as she slowly stepped further into the house, unable to stop herself and clamped her teeth down hard on her tender lower lip. Unintentionally she crossed his gaze and for a moment all she could think of was how much she wanted just to be in his arms and forget about everything. However, before her body could act upon the instinct, the image of him and the blonde girl sat in the diner, the ring, their heart-sickening happiness together reappeared in front of her eyes and the hope to just forget about this vanished immediately.
Something came up, she repeated to herself in her head, her connotations with the phrase becoming irrational as they occurred to her. She wondered what ‘the thing’ was that came up and what he would tell her if she got up the nerve to ask. She couldn’t believe that he would lie to her like that (not realising that he hadn’t at this point) and she felt a strange rawness to her chest that was more intense than anything else that she had felt. Was this to be the end?
“I’m fine,” she said, at last levelling her gaze back at Laurence, her eyes bright with emotion as the intense sadness and loss she was beginning to feel filtered itself into her anger and suspicion. She shuffled uncomfortably from one foot to the other, building herself up to the confrontation as she watched him looking so innocent.
“Are you just going to stand there?” she asked, incredulously, knowing that he must be able to tell that there was something bothering her – he had said as much – surely he would have the decency to just admit it now. It appeared not, though. “I – just – how could you?” She frowned deeply as she spat the words out, knowing that she probably wasn’t making much sense, but she knew that he should be able to figure out her meaning, unless he was keeping more than one secret from her. She backed up a couple of steps and hung her head. “I loved you,” she uttered, miserably, already hearing his confession before he had even opened his mouth.
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Jun 23, 2009 16:06:52 GMT -5
As Laurie watched Matt, everything about her screamed that there was something wrong. Her posture was tense and rigid, not the welcoming nature that she usually put forth, being as eager to be in his arms as he was to have her there. She was also avoiding looking at him and her facial expression seemed like it was anything but happy to see him here.
The last time that Laurie had seen Matt, she was fine. He knew they didn’t argue about anything, they rarely had any disagreements, and any small fights they might get into were quickly solved. He knew he was late today but he really couldn’t see how ten minutes could cause her to be this upset with him. Maybe it wasn’t about him. Had Leo or her parents done something to upset her? Maybe she just got some bad news, that would explain why she wasn’t dressed for their date. Or even worse, maybe it had something to do with Rory again.
Laurie was worried about what could be upsetting his girlfriend. He wanted to help her get through whatever problems she was having yet she seemed so closed off right now that he wasn’t sure how to get through to her. “You sure?” he asked softly as Matt stated that she was fine. “You know we can just stay in tonight if you’d rather...” He offered.
Laurie went in as she mentioned how he was just standing there. Then she started accusing him and his eyes widened. He didn’t know what she was talking about and then when she told him that she loved him, in the past, he felt a pain stab through his heart. “How could I what…Matt you know I love you. You mean everything to me…” He told her as he started feeling as though this was the end of them. She didn’t love him anymore, he had done something wrong, something to mess things up. “Matt…please don’t do this”
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Post by Matilda Stone on Jun 26, 2009 21:25:14 GMT -5
The frown on Matt’s brow deepened as Laurie asked if she was sure she was alright. She didn’t understand why he was stringing her along like this, couldn’t he tell how much it was hurting her being played for the fool that she apparently had been? Knowing what she thought she knew she wondered whether he was being deliberately cruel or whether he thought he was still getting away with it. The defiant look she tried to cast at her boyfriend broke after a few moments of strength and she looked down at her feet, trying to steel her nerves again, but it was so difficult seeing him standing there in front of her with his pretend concern.
“No,” she said quietly, her voice struggling to be heard through the entangling thickness in her throat. She frowned at herself, realising that she probably sounded as though she contradicted herself. She slid her tear-bright brown over his form again, though they didn’t linger on his face as they usually would. “I mean yes, I mean, well, how should I be? You should know. Is here, with me, where you really want to be?”
She attempted to take a deep, cleansing breath, trying to counteract the horrible fluttering feeling in her chest, and to resist the nonsensical urge to breathe in shallow puffs. It was more difficult than she expected though and she found her lungs straining against the volume of air she allowed in, especially when she realised that if she wasn’t careful the release of air would emit a sob at the same time. The best she could end up doing was to sigh the air out, and she lifted her hands to her head to claw back the hair from her face.
After a few moments of gathering herself once more, she allowed herself to cast what she intended to be a fleeting look at Laurie. She got stuck on those wide, innocent eyes, though and she wondered how she had managed to misjudge him so badly – at least with Rory she had always sort of know he was a bit of a scumbag. The words that he said to her came through to Matt through a low buzz of tension and a look of confusion and hurt crossed her face. She backed up a couple of steps, trying to get away from the fight even as she created it.
“What am I supposed to do then, Laurie?” she asked, her desperately wide dark eyes burning directly into his blue ones. She bowed her head once more as she felt another swell of emotion making its way up from her stomach and her heart. After a small crack in her voice and tremble of her shoulders, she just about strangled the oncoming sob in her throat. Hearing him speak made it more real, even if he hadn’t admitted anything yet, but she could still only see him as hers and she couldn’t help but wonder what she had done to lose him so utterly.
“How can you say that you love me wh-when clearly you love her more, e-enough to-” she cut herself off, emotion stopping her ability to carry a sentence without her voice cracking awfully. She wished she didn’t sound so weak; she wished that she didn’t feel so broken, but without him she felt lost.
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Jul 1, 2009 23:18:43 GMT -5
Laurie didnt understand what was going on with Matt today. The was she was acting around him seemed so out of place for them. She was so distant and cold towards him he didnt understand it. When she looked down he just wanted to hold her and bring her eyes up to his but something was off. Too off to even reach out, as if he knew he'd be rejected in any efforts he made.
Laurence was baffled as she went on to say that no she wasnt alright but asked him how she should be, and if he really wanted to be here with her. "Matt, how can you even ask me that?" He asked her wondering how after all this time she was still doubting his interest in her. Maybe he had gotten the ring too soon. Maybe they weren't close enough yet to make the kind of commitment he was ready for. "Of course I want to be here, I wouldnt be if I didnt want to"
As Laurie watched her sigh he realized that her own question should have been asked of her right now. She didnt look like she wanted to be with him. Had she been feeling things getting worse between them, having lost the feelings she had for him and was merely hoping he felt the same to make a breakup easier. It hurt him to think of that being the case, when he was still so deeply in love with her, but he knew he needed to know. "Do you really want to be with me?"
When she looked back up at him, Laurie saw the confusion and the pain in her eyes. His stomach was turning as he wondered how many more times he'd get to look into her eyes like this. He didnt understand what he had done wrong. Or how he had misjudged how their relationship was going right now. How could he have thought they were ready for marriage and she be ready to end it? He watched her backing up, knowing she was backing away from not just him but their relationship.
Laurie stared back into Matt's eyes as she asked him what she was supposed to do. He wanted to tell her to stay with him. To tell her that she was supposed to marry him, but he couldn't force her to stay if she was unhappy with him and right now she looked very unhappy with this situation. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. "You have to do what you think is best for you" He told her, his voice shaking, not wanting to be so noble.
His look of fear turned more to confusion as she questioned his love for her and mentioned that he loved some other 'her' more than Matt. "Matt, I do love you. More than anyone. There's no one else...you have to believe me!" He begged, not able to bear the thought that their breakup might be spurred by her false belief that he was seeing another woman.
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Post by Matilda Stone on Jul 15, 2009 11:47:48 GMT -5
Matt’s stomach squirmed nauseously as she stared at their feet, so close but with an impenetrable distance between them. When Laurie told her that he did want to be there with her, a small sign of relief escaped her, though it confused her mind. She desperately wanted him to want her the way that she did him, already knowing that she would never meet another man like him if she lived to a hundred. But then if he really did want to be here, then why would he be giving other girls rings? Still, despite her confusion, which showed plainly on her face, hope made her turn her gaze upwards to fully address the clear blue eyes that she loved so much.
“I don’t understand,” she replied simply, her accusatory tone overwhelmed by confusion. She continued to gaze up at him, beginning to wonder whether he liked the blonde better than her; maybe she was a reminder of all the sun kissed, blonde girls of his homeland? She was also sort of hoping he had decided to break up with the other woman for her, though he doubted it and she pondered over how long it would take her to forgive his indiscretion. That set her on dangerous ground, though. She didn’t want to be the kind of girl that was so besotted by a guy that she let him walk all over her, but she feared that her angry resolve would quickly fade if he asked for her back. She knew she would have to forgive him eventually, even if he ended up leaving her, otherwise it would drive her insane.
“More than anything,” she responded as he returned her own question. Her words were quiet, breathy, as she felt cold dread drip down her spine. She knew she should make this easier for both of them and pretend that the whole thing didn’t bother her, but there was no way that she would be able to hide the hurt on her face. Maybe she could persuade him that her dedication to him would be endless and he would take her back (forgetting that he hadn’t broken up with her yet and about her desire to come out of this on top and fighting. “Laurie, I… you… couldn’t even imagine how much I do want to be with you…”
The distance she put between herself and her boyfriend did little to put Matt at ease. She could still feel her resolve crumbling. She listened to what Laurie had to say and escaped his gaze as she heard his shaking voice. It sounded like he was hurting almost as badly as she was. How could she hurt him like this? She reminded herself that he had been cheating on her and even though the thought made her sick to her stomach, she didn’t have the level of vindictiveness required to want to hurt him too.
“But what if I can’t have what’s best for me?” she asked, her voice raw with emotion and quivering like a wreck. She put her hands behind her and pressed her fingertips into the wall as tears welled in her eyes and she tried to prepare herself for the tragic end of the relationship. “What if he-he’s chosen someone else to be ‘the best’ for him, wh-what then?”
Her shining dark eyes now stared directly and incredulously at Laurie as he denied seeing someone else and she abruptly shoved her hands into her pockets so that he wouldn’t be able to see them shaking. “Oh come on, Laurie, I saw you,” she choked, taking one hand out of her pocket to swipe furiously at the escaping hot tears. “I saw you with her, surely you can’t deny that!”
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Jul 16, 2009 11:18:31 GMT -5
When Laurie saw Matt giving a small smile after he confirmed that he did want to be here he began wondering if the reason behind the way she was acting now wasn't them moving too fast like he originally thought but maybe she had questioned why he hadn't made a bigger commitment by now. Had she thought he waited too long? He was tempted to bring out the ring now to show her exactly how much he did want to be here with her, but he could still feel something between them that didn't feel right. Looking at her he knew that their tension wasn't over and truthfully he wasn't confident that she wasn't still trying to break up with him right now
Laurie continued to look at her confused as she said she didn't understand. He wondered if she didn't believe him after all the time they'd spent together. He began wondering now if sex had become the issue between them. He had never pushed it between them out of respect for her and wanting their first time to mean something but maybe she thought that meant he didn't really want her. He prayed history hadn't repeated itself and she hadn't found someone else to fulfill her needs. The thought scared him as he waited to hear Matt's answer to her own question, whether she wanted to be here with him.
Laurie felt relief and happiness as Matt confirmed that she too wanted to be here. He didn't understand what was keeping them apart then when they both felt this way. How had something changed between them since the last time they were blissfully happy? "And you can't imagine how much I want to be with you...but then what's wrong? If we both want this, why aren't we enjoying each others company?"
Laurie could see the hurt still on her face and knew there was something else. He had done something but he couldnt figure out what it was. He knew it was no longer just about being a little late coming to meet her today. When the accusations had started, Laurie felt terrified of losing her. He wanted to fix this and make her happy but he also didnt want to force her to stay if she had been this unhappy for awhile now. His voice was still shaking as he answered her. "You can have whatever you want Matt...I love you and I only want the best for you, even if it hurts to give you that" He said trying to stay strong when he felt their relationship crumbling around them.
He looked at her confused as she tearfully said something about choosing someone else. "Matt there's no one else..." He started then widened his eyes as she said that she saw him. He was in complete confusion for a moment wondering what she thought she saw. A patient? Some woman? The only woman he'd been with today was his sister. Relief spread over him as he realized she must have spotted him out with his sister, leaving the clinic or the diner on the rez or something.
Filled with relief he couldnt help himself from letting out a light laugh realizing that all of this had been over nothing. "Sweetheart, no, I was with a woman today, but its not what you think okay" He said with a smile walking over towards her and reaching out his hand to her arm to try to comfort her. "I would never cheat on you"
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Post by Matilda Stone on Aug 23, 2009 21:17:45 GMT -5
Matt’s eyes never left Laurie’s face, she forced them to remained trained there so that she could see every muscle he flexed in it, as if she could somehow read a lie there if he told one. She tried to ignore the thought that if he had been seeing someone else behind her back to the extent where he would marry her then it would be highly unlikely that she would be able to read a lie on his features. The issue of trust and fidelity had never reared its head in their relationship, it had never even occurred to her that he would lie to her so brazenly as he must have been doing. This realisation only caused her bruised heart to ache even more as she wondered how well she really knew the Australian and so she blocked off her mind. That only served to allow another wash of emotion to overwhelm her, though, so by the time Laurie had questioned their fight it was all she could do to squeeze out a quiet: “I want to…”
She paused for a long time then, taking long breaths, or at least trying to, though her quivering form betrayed her before long and shallowed out her breathing again. She wished she could be stronger and just come out with what was bothering her and end the stupid situation. She couldn’t though, like some masochistic moron she prolonged the pain by confusing him utterly.
“Don’t,” she shot back at him, a little fire in her tone as she heard him tell her that he loved her. She almost cut him off, not wanting to hear that he loved her like a friend or a even a sister and he had another woman out there that was more like the lover she wanted to be. She held up her hand for a moment, though quickly put it back behind her back to hide just how out of control she felt just then. She looked down at the carpet, the tears in her eyes causing its grain to dance around before them, and muttered. “It would probably hurt you just to know how much I need you… and how much I need you to want me…”
She cut herself off with a frown, unable to string her words together properly as the confusion and anger mixed together in her head. Her head snapped back up again to meet Laurie’s blue-eyed gaze as he denied there being someone else in his life. The frown returned and she crossed her arms over her chest as she worked up irritation at being lied to about something she had seen with her own eyes. She watched the confused expression wash over his face and waited, pressing her lips together into thin lines as tears continued to make tracks down her face. And then the expression changed to something else. Relief? No, she must have read that wrong.
She turned away in a quick motion as her head bobbed lower, hearing the laugh that usually could lighten her foulest of moods, but the situation caused her to hear it with a mocking pitch that simply wasn’t really there. She allowed a silent sob or two to shake her shoulders for a moment, trying to take in Laurie’s words at face value, but failing.
“Then what should I think?” she asked, spinning to face him once more. She instantly caught the warm smile of his and clocked the extension of his strong arm, though she resisted collapsing into it, no matter how tempted she was to do so. “I never thought you would…” she said, almost tenderly, looking hungrily at the open stance Laurie had taken.
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Sept 6, 2009 15:05:20 GMT -5
It hurt Laurie to hear Matt tell him not to tell her that he loved her. She didnt believe him. He had told her many times how much he loved her, but now he was starting to wonder when she stopped believing it to be true. Or when she stopped loving him to get to where she was now where he could feel their relationship on the brink of ending at one wrong word. He wished he could just diagnose it like a patient and know exactly what to do, but he felt scared, and helpless to stop it if it all came crashing down.
He listened to her next words of how much she needed him and needed him to want her, they confused him again and he shook his head taking a tentative step towards her. "Matt, I do want you...and I need you just as much, don't do this...please" He begged her.
Laurie saw Matt lower her head as he laughed and quickly covered his mouth, hating that he had let it slip in his relieve. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have laughed" He apologized quickly, guilt quickly coming over him. The last thing he wanted was for Matt to believe he was mocking her or didnt care about her feelings when she was obviously upset. He knew he would be too if he believed she was seeing someone else.
He could see her fighting to accept what he was saying. He knew he had to explain quickly. " You should think you know me. I never would cheat on you, ever" He assured her again, thinking this point was even more important to make than explaining the woman's identity.
"Matt, I was with a woman today, I dont know when you saw me, but if I'd have seen you I would have introduced you. It was my sister" He told her, his eyes pleading with her to believe the truth. " ...you have to believe me"
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Post by Matilda Stone on Sept 9, 2009 7:54:25 GMT -5
Even though she was far from convinced about his insistence that he loved and wanted her, Matt didn’t cower back any further into the wall as Laurie took a small step forwards. The problem was that there were two warring factions in her head that wanted to on the one hand just to believe him and forget all this nonsense, so that they could remember this fight when they were sixty and laugh about it, but the other couldn’t allow her to believe his words now. To that part, if she admitted defeat and forgot about the situation then she was doing herself a disservice and was setting herself up for a great fall later on when he announced his engagement to some other woman.
She bit her lip as she looked up at her handsome boyfriend, confusion reigning for a few moments as the factions continued to war inside her. It was clear that she didn’t want to do this, this was her idea of a nightmare and part of her was hoping that she would wake up at any moment. The thought rose, though, that this wasn’t her doing. Yes, she had maybe brought the event forwards, but if he was going around proposing to other women then he must have been planning to dump her at some point. She shook her head, firmly. “I’m not the one doing this.”
With her gaze firmly honed in on the grain of the carpet, Matt didn’t see the hand that Laurie brought up to his mouth, she didn’t notice his regret for laughing. She did hear his apology, though, which made her lift her head once more, even if she did feel slightly more crushed (if that was possible). She didn’t say anything, though, the glum set of her mouth didn’t even change as she continued to listen to what he had to say for himself. The only change in her expression was a slight from when he reassured her that he would never cheat on her. He had already tried to make that point, and as heartbreaking as it was, she couldn’t see the evidence that would corroborate that – he had already admitted that he had been with a woman.
As he made the revelation that the woman he was with was in fact his sister, Matt’s dull gaze sharpened and she looked quizzically up at him. Her stoic expression then went through several changes as she processed the information. Firstly there was shock, followed swiftly by overawing relief, which made her step forward a little, but then there was another small frown, deepening as she though further.
“Your sister?” she asked, stopping her movement only a pace or two in front of him, though it might as well have been a gulf in the present situation. “I thought she was still in Australia… and why would you give her…” Belief had been so close, but then there were bits and pieces that didn’t add up. Perhaps those things wouldn’t have been a big deal if she hadn’t already thought that he had been cheating, but with the fire of suspicion already lit, it didn’t take much to keep it stoked.
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Post by Laurence Chambers on Sept 15, 2009 22:19:07 GMT -5
Laurie was grateful when Matt didn't move any further away from him as he stepped towards her. He wanted to hold her but was afraid it was too much and would push her to ending this all. Her eyes had so much doubt in them, and his only had worry and fear. He didn't think he could recover from losing her. His heart couldnt take it.
He watched as she firnly shook her head and said how she wasn't the one doing it. "Well I'm not either. I want us to be just how we've been, I dont want anything to come between us" He told her, desperately wanting them to stay together. He felt foolish now for having gotten the ring for her. He wasn't sure that by tonight he'd even have a girlfriend, how could he have thought she'd have considered marrying him. He wondered when things started to turn bad for her.
As he realized what this was about he hated the fact that a laugh of relief escaped him. He hoped that hadn't just made it all the worse for Matt, knowing how she must have viewed the situation. She didnt lift her head back up until he apologized for the laughing. His eyes looked directly into hers as he promised her again that he'd never cheat on her, hoping she'd see the honesty and sincerity in his words. He wanted her to believe him but wasn't sure she did as he looked at her.
When she made a small step forward, Laurie felt encouraged, like she might believe what he was saying and that they could get past this. "I thought my sister was still in Australia...but apparently she's here as an exchange student...my parents never told me she was coming and never told her that I had left New York...we were both surprised to see each other today" He explained, wondering what he had seen him give her that confused her but not worrying about that now.
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Post by Matilda Stone on Sept 23, 2009 7:33:27 GMT -5
Heart aching, Matt’s suspicious mind immediately altered the meaning of Laurie’s well-intended words. He just wanted to carry things on as they were, which at that moment meant that he wanted to carry on seeing this other woman at the same time as her and to pretend that nothing was going on. She wasn’t sure she could do that, despite how much she wanted to be with him. The insinuation that she would take it revived the little spurts of anger that the situation had aroused in her and put her back up.
“How can I do that? How can we go on as if nothing’s changed when I know?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Maybe you didn’t want me to find out, but I did and we can’t go back in time. I wanted to stay with you… forever. I thought you were the same…”
As she lifted her head back to look at her boyfriend when he apologised, her teary eyes immediately glued themselves to his. She knew this was a mistake when she was trying to resist him; it was impossible to see deception for long in those clear blue orbs. She could reason that his actions didn’t match his words to herself, but she couldn’t stop herself from falling under the spell that he cast over her.
Her expression remained unsure, but any trace of anger was removed now; tears stood on her cheeks, but they stopped falling as she tried to work this out. Despite the fact that she was the one to start this fight, she was still eager and willing to look for a way around the ultimate conclusion of breaking up. She silently thought back to the scene that had unravelled before her in the diner. The blonde girl did look oddly familiar – was that because she reminded her of her own boyfriend, the man sat next to her? And she knew that he barely kept in contact with her… so she supposed it was feasible.
“Oh,” she said, softly, her resolve breaking at a rapid pace to be filled in by guilt at causing this confrontation. There was still one unresolved issue, though… Did that matter, though? If it was his sister then she would probably meet her soon. If she wasn’t introduced relatively soon then maybe she should bring up the ring issue then? She had no notion that it might have been for her, having only seen it be passed from him to her. She lifted her hands to her cheeks, turning slowly scarlet as her will to fight faded completely.
“Oh no… Laurie, I’m so sorry…” She peeped out from between her fingers, looking guiltily up at the man she loved. She stepped forward a little, enclosing the gulf, but not daring to do anymore in case he was angry at her accusations.
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