Quil Ateara
Dazzled
Werewolf, Wingman Imprinted on Claire Titan
Posts: 160
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Post by Quil Ateara on Jul 4, 2010 17:17:33 GMT -5
Quil could see by the look on her face that she hadn't thought through yet that her mother would have known all along. It was just another thing he was saying that was hurting her, as much as he was trying to just be honest with her and explain everything, so that she'd hopefully forgive him. Quil wished he had talked to Sam more about this. Before the other guys had always just said she was too young to understand and to give it time, but he should have been more well prepared for when she was old enough, when she'd find out. "I'm sorry..." He said again, sure it was for the millionth time by now, but hoping that she could hear the sincerity in each one of them.
Quil didn't need to wait to hear her turn down his invitation to stay again, he could read it on her face that she was looking for the way to tell him no. Seeing her wipe her eyes he felt sick knowing how badly he had hurt her and couldn't fix it. The fear that she'd be gone forever after tonight was stuck now in his brain. He had told her he was a wolf from the moment she could understand it, couldn't she see he had tried to include her in everything as soon as she could? That he wanted her to know everything, but wouldn't expect anything from her? He had been happy all these years just being her best friend, now he didnt know if she'd let him be that.
"Ok.." He finally said as she told him she'd walk home. "Can you please just do me one favor?" He asked tentatively. "I know you dont want talk anymore tonight...but when you get home, will you just text me, just so i know you made it okay. I know its not far, but its dark and its late...I'll be running laps around the rez all night otherwise" He said with a slight smile, trying to ease the tension with a little furrball humor.
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Claire Titan
Dazzled
Human, Imprintee of Quil Ateara
Pity wock Qwil, for me for me!
Posts: 138
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Post by Claire Titan on Jul 6, 2010 23:41:05 GMT -5
Things seemed to become heavier and heavier on the bottom of Claire's stomach. She felt sick at the thought of so many years and so many people involved in this. Claire felt bed fr being mad at them, and even worse for the strings of explanations and apologies she was bound to hear in the coming weeks. What hurt her the most however, was seeing Quil looking upset. She knew this wasn't all his fault, but she couldn't help the sense of betrayal that lingered. His apology was sincere she knew, but her own hurt feelings kept her from accepting it fully.
Cliare gave Quil a little grin and a nod. "Yea, I'll send a text," she promised. She was glad he has asked for a text message as opposed to a phone call; she didn't think she could handle hearing him apologizing one more time. Pulling the hood of her sweater up, she stepped out of his house and into the rain again. When she had run towards his house, which seemed almost a life time ago, she never thought she would have walked away from it feeling like this.
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Quil Ateara
Dazzled
Werewolf, Wingman Imprinted on Claire Titan
Posts: 160
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Post by Quil Ateara on Jul 6, 2010 23:53:21 GMT -5
Quil was grateful that all of these years of being a wolf had helped him to at least control when he changed pretty well. Right now with as upset as he was, if he had been a newbie at this, it would have been all too easy to phase right there. He wondered if any of the pain would go away if he was in his other form. But he knew it was unlikely as the thoughts would still be there. He wanted to cry and beg her to stay and to forgive him, but he knew he couldn't put that pressure on her. It was his whole reason for not telling her earlier, he wanted her to have a choice. He didn't want her to be pressured to be with him. And right now it looked like the possibility of him losing a friend was stronger than this ever going further.
A lump was formed in the back of his throat as he nodded with a light smile, grateful that she'd at least text him so he knew she was safe. "Thank you" He told her, forcing his eyes to not yet well up in tears as she left. He didn't really know if he'd see her again. And he knew he wouldn't know how to live anymore without her in his life.
Quil watched her walk out the door, into the rain. He stood in the open doorway for awhile, giving her a light wave that he wasn't even sure if she saw, before going back inside and closing the door behind him. The room seemed so much emptier now without her there. He felt like he was going to be sick as he let his emotions surface. Sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, the sobs came freely. He hated himself right then, and every single person who had made him keep this from her, who had told him it was for the best, that she was too young.
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Claire Titan
Dazzled
Human, Imprintee of Quil Ateara
Pity wock Qwil, for me for me!
Posts: 138
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Post by Claire Titan on Jul 8, 2010 9:37:07 GMT -5
The walk home was the longest, loneliest one Claire had ever been on. Even the heavy rains of the Northwest would not outshine the stream of tears that fell from her eyes and by the time she got home, she was completely soaked all over again and starting to shiver. It had been a bad idea to walk alone int he rain, but she couldn't imagine having tried to make it home with Quil escorting her. It would have felt like ages, trying to depart from him if she hadn't left so abruptly like she did.
Walking into her house, she probably could have tried better to be a bit quiet, but Claire dared either of her parents to come and ask her if she was ok, or ask here where she had been, or some other insignificant query. She'd give them an earful of how she felt and what she thought. Though her house was considerably warmer, she still felt cold to the bone. Shedding her clothes when she got to her bedroom, she collapsed on her bed, and cried herself to sleep.[new thread soon! ]
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Quil Ateara
Dazzled
Werewolf, Wingman Imprinted on Claire Titan
Posts: 160
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Post by Quil Ateara on Aug 8, 2010 15:01:31 GMT -5
The minutes that passed between watching Claire walk out his front door and getting the short text informing him of her safety at home had been excruciating and seemed like an eternity. Before that day, he knew Claire would have gladly accepted his company on a walk home, or she would have just agreed to stay and they'd stay up half the night laughing before falling asleep on the couch watching a movie or something. He hated the newfound tension between them and felt like his heart was breaking. He had never intended to hurt her or make her feel the need to pull away like this. His every action had always been in what he thought was her best interest. If he had known better, he would have done something differently.
As he sat, alone in the room, he could only hope he hadn't lost her for good. He wasn't asking her to decide to change their relationship to a more adult one. He'd be glad to stay best friends til they were old and grey. Quil just knew that he had to be in her life, somehow. He didnt know how he'd survive if he wasnt. If she were air keeping him alive, the gravity holding him on this planet...then how could he go on if she told him she couldnt do this anymore? He put his head in his hands and started sobbing.
(Ready for new thread NOW!)
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