Post by Bella Swan on Oct 3, 2009 17:25:16 GMT -5
{Mid/Late New Moon}
Bella’s lips were almost in ribbons as she fretted over the current situation. Was she cursed? Is this what happened to the people she loved because she got involved with myth and legend, turning her back on the human world. She clasped her arms around her chest, the hole festering, emitting unrelenting pain perhaps as a punishment for all the times that Jacob had soothed its anger. And now he was in trouble too.
She groaned to herself and jumped up off the log that she had installed herself on as she waited out the wolves returning from hunting Victoria. Sitting still was worse than pacing, but she didn’t know where to go or what to do. Jacob was out there now risking his life, and though she knew that she should be worried about his packmates too, who were running with him, she only had enough room in her head to be worried about him given the sheer amount of space Edward’s absence took up.
Edward. She had spent entirely too much time being candid with Jake about that relationship and the effect it had upon her and perhaps that was why the gaping hole in her chest was aching so much now. What was making it worse was the fact that she had woken up that morning banking on the fact that she would see him (or the delusion of him) today. Hadn’t she joked to herself that a date with Jacob was a date with Edward when he had told her that he would take her cliff diving.
And why shouldn’t she go anyway? What was cliff diving compared to running off to fight a dangerous vampire bent on getting around them? Didn’t they realise that once Victoria had gotten sick of trying to get around them, she would just go through them. They didn’t understand how strong and wild she was. Maybe she should have been more afraid for herself just then, but all she could think about was how much danger she had put Jake in. And it all worked to spur her into climbing up to the highest platform.
She faltered as she got to the turning to get to the lower outcrop, knowing that being on her own this was probably high enough. However, then she turned her brown eyes up to the overhanging piece of rock ahead and the scene that she had watched a short while ago of Sam and Paul and Jared jumping form up there played back before her eyes. That was the one she wanted, the one that she knew would produce the right amount of wind in her hair, enough danger to bring Edward out of hiding. And so she continued climbing.
Reaching the ledge of the top outcrop, Bella barely stopped to think, all she could feel was sweet adrenaline pounding around her system. And it was then that she saw him in the corner of her eye. Perfect and beautiful just the way she remembered him. And he looked angry, so terribly and wonderfully furious. Her heart hammered in her chest, a smile spreading over her face as her delusion came to life. She knew she was seconds away from hearing his perfect, velvet voice.
“Bella,” and there it was. She smiled widely and allowed her breath out, feeling pleasure surge around her system. At the moment she wasn’t particularly contemplating how messed up this was. She was in it for the moment, not the consequences. “Don’t do this.”
She argued with the vampire she loved in her head, bitterly reminding him (herself) that this was the only way she could make him stay. She stepped forward on to nothing and suddenly she was flying. And the strong, angry voice reverberated around her head, enhancing the experience all the more. The wind whipped around her and tossed her long hair around her face and she felt exhilarated. She was actually enjoying herself.
Until the coldness of the water sliced through her body, the waves catching her up in the current of the stormy water. At first it only added to the experience and then she realised that she didn’t even know which way was up anymore. She couldn’t fight the strong current. She was doomed. It didn’t surprise her that Edward was there with her in these moments – she had died for him, for the delusion of him, he owed it to her. She lessened her fight, allowing herself to be buffeted around, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference.
“Stop that!” Came the amazingly velvet, perfectly furious voice. “Don’t you dare give up!”
Edward continued to spur her on, but even her will to fight was fading. Her arms and legs felt cramped with cold and her head was spinning in the darkness. She knew she was sinking to the bottom of the pool of water, she was drowning. And as she realised it her life began to flash before her eyes. It all contained him and she saw him in perfect detail, with perfect clarity. Despite her situation, a surge of happiness greater than she had felt for the last few months since Edward’s disappearance assaulted her system. That certainly took the edge off dying.
She tried to keep the image of her love before her eyes for as long as possible, but the deep blackness of the surrounding water was closing in and her lungs burned with the amount of water they contained. This was the end, but… it wasn’t so bad. Goodbye, I love you.
And then she closed her eyes to the world, not expecting to open them again.
Bella’s lips were almost in ribbons as she fretted over the current situation. Was she cursed? Is this what happened to the people she loved because she got involved with myth and legend, turning her back on the human world. She clasped her arms around her chest, the hole festering, emitting unrelenting pain perhaps as a punishment for all the times that Jacob had soothed its anger. And now he was in trouble too.
She groaned to herself and jumped up off the log that she had installed herself on as she waited out the wolves returning from hunting Victoria. Sitting still was worse than pacing, but she didn’t know where to go or what to do. Jacob was out there now risking his life, and though she knew that she should be worried about his packmates too, who were running with him, she only had enough room in her head to be worried about him given the sheer amount of space Edward’s absence took up.
Edward. She had spent entirely too much time being candid with Jake about that relationship and the effect it had upon her and perhaps that was why the gaping hole in her chest was aching so much now. What was making it worse was the fact that she had woken up that morning banking on the fact that she would see him (or the delusion of him) today. Hadn’t she joked to herself that a date with Jacob was a date with Edward when he had told her that he would take her cliff diving.
And why shouldn’t she go anyway? What was cliff diving compared to running off to fight a dangerous vampire bent on getting around them? Didn’t they realise that once Victoria had gotten sick of trying to get around them, she would just go through them. They didn’t understand how strong and wild she was. Maybe she should have been more afraid for herself just then, but all she could think about was how much danger she had put Jake in. And it all worked to spur her into climbing up to the highest platform.
She faltered as she got to the turning to get to the lower outcrop, knowing that being on her own this was probably high enough. However, then she turned her brown eyes up to the overhanging piece of rock ahead and the scene that she had watched a short while ago of Sam and Paul and Jared jumping form up there played back before her eyes. That was the one she wanted, the one that she knew would produce the right amount of wind in her hair, enough danger to bring Edward out of hiding. And so she continued climbing.
Reaching the ledge of the top outcrop, Bella barely stopped to think, all she could feel was sweet adrenaline pounding around her system. And it was then that she saw him in the corner of her eye. Perfect and beautiful just the way she remembered him. And he looked angry, so terribly and wonderfully furious. Her heart hammered in her chest, a smile spreading over her face as her delusion came to life. She knew she was seconds away from hearing his perfect, velvet voice.
“Bella,” and there it was. She smiled widely and allowed her breath out, feeling pleasure surge around her system. At the moment she wasn’t particularly contemplating how messed up this was. She was in it for the moment, not the consequences. “Don’t do this.”
She argued with the vampire she loved in her head, bitterly reminding him (herself) that this was the only way she could make him stay. She stepped forward on to nothing and suddenly she was flying. And the strong, angry voice reverberated around her head, enhancing the experience all the more. The wind whipped around her and tossed her long hair around her face and she felt exhilarated. She was actually enjoying herself.
Until the coldness of the water sliced through her body, the waves catching her up in the current of the stormy water. At first it only added to the experience and then she realised that she didn’t even know which way was up anymore. She couldn’t fight the strong current. She was doomed. It didn’t surprise her that Edward was there with her in these moments – she had died for him, for the delusion of him, he owed it to her. She lessened her fight, allowing herself to be buffeted around, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference.
“Stop that!” Came the amazingly velvet, perfectly furious voice. “Don’t you dare give up!”
Edward continued to spur her on, but even her will to fight was fading. Her arms and legs felt cramped with cold and her head was spinning in the darkness. She knew she was sinking to the bottom of the pool of water, she was drowning. And as she realised it her life began to flash before her eyes. It all contained him and she saw him in perfect detail, with perfect clarity. Despite her situation, a surge of happiness greater than she had felt for the last few months since Edward’s disappearance assaulted her system. That certainly took the edge off dying.
She tried to keep the image of her love before her eyes for as long as possible, but the deep blackness of the surrounding water was closing in and her lungs burned with the amount of water they contained. This was the end, but… it wasn’t so bad. Goodbye, I love you.
And then she closed her eyes to the world, not expecting to open them again.