Post by Claire Titan on May 6, 2009 22:06:49 GMT -5
Claire considered Quil’s question, trying to remember how she felt when everything was going terribly wrong. It felt like she was being excluded out of something important, because they insisted that she was too young. “I don’t know,” she told him honestly. “I guess I can see why no one told me… but it has to do with me. I wanted to know. Do you know what I mean?” She felt a little resented at being treated in such a way, but she also remembered the look on Quil’s face and knew that it couldn’t have been easy. She shrugged in defeat, and didn’t want to dwell on it. There were more difficult things to figure out now.
She felt a little consoled when he told her that he’d never thought of her as a stupid kid. She knew other people did, and sometimes she believed them, but it was always Quil that defended her the most. She now knew the reasons behind it, and felt another wave of blood rush to her head. A tiny smile grew on her face and rested her chin on her knees as she brought them to her. It almost felt normal sitting there as they had so many times before; the only difference was the slightly charged awareness of new definition. She still wasn’t sure how to address it, and would stall from it for as long as she could.
“It didn’t matter,” she told him giggling. “I didn’t want to be a wolf, really. I think I just wanted to hang out with all of you. It sounded like you were just running around and stuff for a while.”
Post by Quil Ateara on Jul 11, 2009 10:03:40 GMT -5
"Yeah, I can't blame you for wanting to know, it is about you" Quil said understanding what she was saying and feeling the guilt of having held something back from her. He always tried to give her everything that she needed, but it was so hard to figure out what that was growing up. None of the other Imprinters had to go through something like this. They were all able to tell their imprintees right away, because there wasn't the huge age difference he had with Claire, it wouldn't be awkward or uncomfortable. "I am sorry...I just hope you know I only didn't tell you because I did hope it was what would be best for you, now that you know at least you can help me decide a little better what is best for you" He said with a sheepish smile. Things would be easier in a lot of ways now that she knew. But he was also afraid of how things would end up.
Quil watched her sitting there, curled up with her chin resting on her knees. He wondered if there would always be a little uncomfortable feeling between them now that she knew. He hoped that she believed him that he wasn't expecting anything from her, but part of him also wished he knew how she felt and if she had ever considered that they could be more than just friends. "Are you cold?" he asked, wanting to make sure she was okay after having been out in the rain earlier.
He smirked as he listened to her explain how she didnt really want to be a wolf but just hang out with them all. "A lot of it is just running around" He admitted. "But you've always gotten to be around us, I bet you're the youngest person to have learned of the Quileute legends" He told her knowing that Renesmee was actually younger but she didn't really count with the way she grew.
Post by Claire Titan on Jul 27, 2009 23:15:51 GMT -5
Claire felt the unique sensation and satisfaction of being known and understood. Quil hadn't wanted to keep something so big from her, and he could tell why it would have upset her. She could only begin to imagine how difficult this had been for him. Quil's comment reminded her that this new knowledge was likely to change everything. In fact, if she followed the trend the other Imprintees had, her relationship with Quil would never be the same. She glanced at him sideways, feeling like she was supposed to be providing something enlightening about herself, but coming up short. "I... don't really know how to answer that," she told him, leaning her head on her knees. No one had really asked her that before, and now that she was being asked, she wasn't sure what was right. "There was always someone else deciding what was best for me." She didn't feel resentful over being treated like a kid, but she did feel kind of stupid for not knowing how to answer a question about herself.
Talking came naturally to them, and Claire felt herself slowly beginning to relax. It wasn't until Quil mentioned it again that she felt the soaking hoodie she had left on. Goosebumps rose on her skin, and her body automatically shuddered under the loss of heat. She tried to hide it by shifting a little in her seat, but her jaw gave her away when it trembled slightly. "A little," she fibbed. "I sort of ran in the rain like this." She offered a little grin, embarrassed for making such a big deal out of it. "I'm ok, though."
Post by Quil Ateara on Aug 28, 2009 0:00:03 GMT -5
Quil could only hope that Claire believed him. That she truly knew he hadnt meant to keep something from her, but had been struggling with finding out how to protect her and keep her informed. Quil nodded as she told him she didnt know how to answer what was best for her. He didnt expect answers right now. "It's okay, it doesnt have to be an immediate thing...I'm just glad you know, there's no more secrets" He told her.
Even though Claire was sitting right beside him, huddled on the floor she still felt miles away as they talked, and he knew things had changed from the easygoing ways they had been for years as she grew up. When she shuddered at the mention of being cold, Quil instantly wanted to put his arms around her, knowing it would have been what he would have instinctually done before today but now worrying about what her reaction would be and that it would set her off again.
"The rain's gotta make it feel freezing" He told her as she tried to not make a big deal about it. He extended out his arms slightly, offering her the warmth and knowing it would help dry her clothes as well. "Can I help?"
Post by Claire Titan on Sept 7, 2009 22:19:25 GMT -5
No Secrets. Before, she had assumed that it had always been like that. She felt a little hurt that it hadn't been so still, but now that there really weren't anything hidden between them, she knew that things would be back to normal... or something like that. She wasn't entirely sure what normal was, or if it was something Quil and her could have, not when they were connected like this. The thought made her a little nervous, and rushed the color to her face again.
Even in the few instances when she'd wanted to hide her reaction from Quil, she had always been unsuccessful and this was not an exception. She wish she had been more skilled in hiding little things like that, but he'd always been good at picking them out. She had to hesitate when he offered her the warmth of his arms. She hated that it used to be such a simple gesture that she had always known how to react to. And now... she was confused to the fact that he now had to offer and give her a choice instead of just pulling her into a hug. But at the same time, she sort of hoped he did it because he didn't want things to be awkward. There was no way around it, at this point, but at least he was trying to minimize it. Claire looked at his face and grinned slightly. There had never been any harm in anything he did, there was no doubt there at least. She hated that she had hesitated, and hoped that it didn't hurt his feelings by doing so. She dipped her head, nodding a little and scooted closer so he could warm her up. At contact, her body shuddered again, making her move in closer. "Thanks," she said timidly. Her mind was running a marathon, trying to decide if this made sense. Of course Quil had always made sense to her; she couldn't live without him. But she wasn't sure how they were supposed to proceed after this night. She let herself settle in, but found that it was hard to look up at his face.
Post by Quil Ateara on Sept 8, 2009 22:55:19 GMT -5
Quil wished that he didnt have to tell her that now there weren't any more secrets, knowing it made it seem worse for what he had done all these years. He wondered if he had done the right thing by her, keeping her in the dark until now. Sam and Rayen had thought so, but maybe if she had just known since she was a kid, like she had about his being a wolf, it wouldnt have really been a big deal. He was just glad that it wasn't enough to make Claire want him out of her life for good. If he had messed up their friendship he couldnt have lived with himself.
Quil watched as he saw her hesitating over whether to accept his offer. He wondered if he shouldnt have asked. He wanted to help her but didn't want to just make things more uncomfortable for her. He was about to put his arms down and apologize when he saw the grin on her face before she nodded and scooted over to him. He lightly pulled his arms around her, trying to warm her up but also hoping she'd get reassurances from the physical contact. He hoped it helped her the way it did him. "My pleasure" he told her as she thanked him.
Post by Claire Titan on Sept 21, 2009 22:19:52 GMT -5
The part of Claire that had been nagging at her mind all day, encouraging paranoia and panic, was slowly receding. She couldn't quite push back the embarrassment of feeling foolish, or sounding crazed; she felt that it was justified and knew Quil understood why she had been upset. She felt a pair of comforting arms find their way around her, and she felt the immediate soothing effect they always had. She exhaled softly, feeling warmth course through her in soft waves of comforting energy. She sighed softly feeling some of the stress leave her body, leaving her mind to settle into the moment she was now in. Normally she would feel varying degrees of comfort and bliss, just being with her best friend, but as she felt her torrent of feelings calm down, also sensed something not quite right.
At first she tried to ignore this increasing discomfort, but it was difficult when they both knew that thing wouldn't be exactly the same. Claire sneaked a peek up at Quil, wondering if he had the same feeling, but quickly averted her eyes before she took a good look. She opened her mouth to say something because the silence was exhausting, but her jaw snapped shut when she realized she had nothing to say. A little frown began to form on her brow, when she felt something she had never felt around her best friend - awkward. If there had been one person in her entire life that she never had trouble being herself with, it had been Quil. And now, she felt like she was on the wrong side of the aquarium glass, being observed. "I don't know what to do now," she blurted, unable to stop herself. She looked straight ahead, confused and unable to find herself in this situation. She didn't like not knowing how things were going to be. "I know you said things wouldn't change if I didn't want them to," she continued, "but even that barely makes sense."
Post by Quil Ateara on Sept 21, 2009 22:38:46 GMT -5
As comforting as it was to Quil to have Claire back in his arms again, where it felt like she belonged, he could also still sense the tension that was there. She wasn't completely relaxed and he knew to be honest neither was he. He was still worried about how she was feeling about everything she had found out and regretting that things had come to the point of getting her this upset. He knew that her reaction to this would affect them for the rest of their lives and would define what they were to each other.
He pulled her a little closer as his mind refused to erase its worries, seeing her quickly look up at him before looking back down again. He waited a little longer and she blurted out what she was feeling. Voicing her confusion and uncertainty. " I hope you know I'm not asking you to do anything about this right now" He said not wanting to rush her, it was a lot of information to absorb and truthfully he was afraid she was too scared now to even consider taking their relationship any further. He listened to her say how even him telling her that things wouldnt change if she didnt want them to didnt make sense to her. "How can I help?" He asked her, ready to do anything necessary. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Post by Claire Titan on Nov 29, 2009 22:38:33 GMT -5
Smiling weakly, Claire could only look down and turn her head away. If she said yes, she wasn't sure how she could even express herself, or she even wanted to for that matter. The thought of not being able to talk to Quil easily didn't sit well with her. It was frustrating and made her feel like she was losing a part of him. Her eyes welled up a little, which she was able to hide from him as she hadn't been able to look at him directly, but she couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped from her lips. And if she said no, she might hurt his feelings altogether by not being able to confide in him at all. Claire didn't want him to think that she couldn't trust him with everything. She felt this new circumstance was taking her best friend away. Despite the opposite directions her thoughts were pulling her to, she couldn't help but to snuggle into him just the tiniest bit closer. "Has this happened to anyone else? I mean, yea, now I know who else imprinted, but, you know.... like this?"
Claire tried to remember all the stories that had ever been told to her about the wolves, picking out the few instances where the imprinting might have been alluded to; perhaps there were some stories that only the wolves themselves knew. Maybe there was a story they could use to help them figure this out.
Post by Quil Ateara on Jan 26, 2010 22:25:37 GMT -5
Though he couldn't see her eyes, Quil felt her pain as her eyes welled up into tears. This wasn't at all how he wanted things to be between them. He had always hoped that once she knew about the imprinting that it would just make things clearer for her in understanding and they'd get even closer from knowledge, but now he was just worried that he had pushed her away and hurt their friendship, something he couldnt live without.
"We were the first with this type of situation, and no one else has been exactly the same...when we first met, you and I clicked instantly, I knew it was imprinting and that I'd met my best friend...others haven't always approved, because the ones at that time who had imprinted met someone close to their own age, it was more...traditional I guess" He tried to explain. "But I guess the person who came closest would be your Uncle Jake, but his was a little different too...he imprinted on Renesmee when she was just born, but she grew so quickly with the whole half vampire thing...so I guess really you and I are kinda unique"
Post by Claire Titan on Mar 25, 2010 20:58:56 GMT -5
Claire listened silently as Quil answered her question, and she tried to make the most of his response. So, yes, they were not the only odd pair to be imprinted, not by far. Nessie was half vampire, which in theory, should have totally turned the wolves against her. She wondered how Nessie had found out about her imprinting, and if she had been as upset as she had been. Did she have to wait 16 years for it? Well, no. Claire was actually older than she was, but Nessie had grown up several times faster. How unfair. She probably knew all along. As soon as she could understand.
Feeling conflicted, Claire liked knowing anything that was affecting her in any way, but knowing this truth was more than she was ready to handle. The conflict carried over to what she felt around Quil. He had not meant to do it, but he had lied to her. It hurt more than being confused and losing a bit of confidence in him. Just being there next to him should have made her incredibly happy, and she was as always, but not without it being tainted by the confusion. Lifting her head up from her shoulder. She started getting up from the floor. "I need sleep," she said weakly. She would have wanted to ask him more, but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. "I'm... tired." Standing upright, she adjusted her soaked hoody and looked at him, trying to give him a grin. "I'm sorry I yelled at you and stuff."
Post by Quil Ateara on May 5, 2010 23:07:56 GMT -5
The silence that followed Quil's answers to Claire's questions had told him that the answers had not been enough to smooth over what had happened. Quil was feeling devastated at having hurt Claire. And even worse, he couldn't even figure out what he should have done to prevent it. He couldn't have told her the moment she could talk what had happened, she wasn't ready for it. And when she was older, she would have felt the pressure he was sure she was feeling now. He wanted to help her, and to hold her and make all the pain both of them were in go away but he could see the frustration on her face.
He sadly watched her stand up and say she needed sleep. "You never have to apologize to me, even for yelling" He told her with a small grin. "You're soaked, and its late...let me get you some dry clothes and you can stay here tonight...then if you have anymore questions I'm right here" He offered to her.
Post by Claire Titan on Jun 2, 2010 1:55:34 GMT -5
A tiny grin was all Claire could offer to the one Quil gave her. Even though he had already forgiven her, she still felt guilty for acting like that. If it had been any other night, she would have automatically agreed to staying over. It bothered her that she hesitated, and had to consider the offer. Maybe staying was a bad idea? Why else would she doubt the offer? "Thanks, but... I think I should go home." She answered reluctantly, but hopefully with enough strength to convey that she didn't feel like being convinced otherwise. "I have a lot to think about, I guess..." she told him, looking down at the ground.
She was afraid of leaving him there, but she didn't think she could stay there any longer. It was all a contradiction she couldn't reconcile. "Besides... I think my mom should know and stuff." The more she talked, the closer she was to rambling about nothing. Pulling her hood over her head, though it wouldn't do much against the rain since it was already soaked, she gave him another quick smile. "Talk to you tomorrow?"
Post by Quil Ateara on Jun 2, 2010 14:36:09 GMT -5
Quil's heart sank as Claire turned down his offer for her to stay the night. It wouldn't have been the first time she had stayed over, but now he hated that she felt too uncomfortable to even be near him. He didn't want her thinking his invitation had any ulterior motives. He wasn't trying to seduce her, he just wanted things to be normal again. "You sure? Its late..." He said still trying to convince her, his heart screaming at him that if she walked out he may never see her again. If she told her mother she was done with Quil he knew Rayen wouldn't protest, she had never been thrilled with their relationship anyway.
"Your mom already knows..." Quil said gently, hating to point out again that Claire had been the last to find out, but he knew that if Rayen hadn't found out, she never would have allowed her young daughter to spend so much time with a grown man. It brought enough suspicious and judgemental looks from everyone else as it was. "I'd love to have you stay....but if you really want to go, at least let me drive you home. You'll catch a cold going back in that rain...nothing's changed with us."
Post by Claire Titan on Jul 4, 2010 16:41:10 GMT -5
A person could only take so much shock before they became numb to it. Learning that her mother had known all along only made her sight drop to the floor, her head bow a little. This was so messed up... in every way. She didn't have the energy to shout anymore, but her inability to react enabled her to connect the dots. Of course. "You know..." she said slowly, as the big picture unblurred itself a little more, "That makes a lot of sense." Now she had to go home and deal with that part too. She thought her mother would be a source of comfort, but now she would just be the next person to be apologizing a whole bunch.
Again, she fumbled with the invitation to stay again. She wanted to because it was warm here, but she needed to be away for some reason. It felt right and wrong at the same time, and the opposing forces only made her want to cry again. Wiping her eyes, feeling tired and slyly wiping away the new tears, she gave Quil a tiny smile, trying to encourage him. "No, I'm gonna walk, thanks. It's not that far and I promise to get warm when I get there, ok?"