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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 14, 2008 21:34:58 GMT -5
Elaine was now standing in the bathroom washing off her face. She could not believe that she had just got so upset over another girl. Elaine was used to being ignored and she was not sure what had made her so upset to the fact that she did not mind to hurt another person. "I am such a screw up. I did not have the right to tell her any of that. She did not need me being mean. That girl did nothing to me."
Elaine then looked up into the mirror her face was red and puffy from all the crying she did. She had a picture of Jason though with here though up against the mirror. She was not ready to give up on him. She just wished she had a friend that she could talk to about things like this. Elaine hated herself for telling Bella that. She was not sure that Edward was gone for good. *I am useless. Come on even my mom hates me and can't stand to live with me. My dad lets me move here because he thinks it better the a mental hospital but he gets me a job and is never home.*
Elaine was upset and she stood back up and looked at herself in the mirror. She then threw her hands at it shattering the mirror and getting glass all in her hands. She pulled her hands back looking at them as they slowly started to bleed. Her picture still sitting on the sink.
<tag: Bella>
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 14, 2008 22:03:35 GMT -5
Bella had sat through her classes that day in a painful haze. It seemed like all the ’progress’ she had been making during her short friendship with Jacob had been undone by that morning’s bizarre confrontation. She was back to her direst of zombie-like states and though she knew that seeing Jake would do her the world of good, she somehow couldn’t muster the energy to even think about giving him a call. Even the thought of the bikes on their way to completion wasn’t quite enough to lift the sombre fog of depression that had settled over the acrid hole in her chest. She had been getting strange looks from her classmates all day, just like the ones she got after Edward and his family left town. Now it was time for lunch, Bella was not eager to join them and their judgmental eyes over the flimsy cafeteria tables. Luckily she had packed a bottle of water with her that morning, having the intention to visit La Push after school, so she ducked into the girl’s bathroom on her way to the lunch room.
“Oh!” Just as she walked through the door the alarming sound of the crashing mirror assaulted her ears and startled her into tripping into the nearest cubicle. She whirled around, brown eyes wide, to see who had committed the act of vandalism. “Elaine?”
Her natural pleasant nature shone through in the shock of the crash, though a moment after she felt her chest constrict. She was in here alone with the untactful girl, she didn’t know if she was able to take it.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 14, 2008 22:27:21 GMT -5
Elaine looked up at her with tears. She then stared back at her hands. Elaine was not in the mood to talk that much. "so I wanted to say sorry about Earlier. It was mean and ungrateful of me. I was upset."
She then leaned back and sat on the ground. Elaine had gotten used to being ignored. She was now shocked that Bella had not left when she first saw her. "you come to make fun of me now. " she put her hand and started to hit it against the ground getting a few more piece stuck in her hand. She then hits her head against the wall. Elaine had totally forgot that her picture with Jason was up on the counter.
"Please just leave me alone okay. I am a screw up and going to leave after today and not come back. " She was starting to believe her mom was right she was useless at everything.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 15, 2008 14:04:48 GMT -5
OOC: Oooh, you made her bleed!
Bella frowned a little over the state that Elaine was in, something about the harsh sound of breaking glass overriding the dullness of her brain. She tiptoed forward, her eyes catching on the photo of a boy around their age sat on top of the counter by the sink. Oh, was this the boy that Elaine had ruined herself over, much in the same way that she had broken herself for Edward? The hole where Bella’s heart used to be gave a painful twinge, like someone had just pinched at the raw edges - at least she had a photo to remind her of him.
It will be as if I’d never existed, the words came back to haunted her, echoing around her head. Of course, Edward had not bargained for this. The way he spoke, it was like he expected Bella to forget about him almost a moment after he left - fickle human emotion and all that - but nothing could be further from the truth. She was driving herself crazy for him, wasn’t she? Just so that she could hear his voice, and that was the best option she had available to her.
Bella was just about to reach forward to gesture towards the photo of Jason when she heard the crunch of glass beneath her feet and the rusty smell of blood assaulted her senses. Uh oh, she thought to herself, urgently. Her entire stomach turned as she saw the blood oozing through the Elaine’s self-inflicted wounds. She gripped at the nearest sink and turned away from the other girl, not wanting to pass out right there.
“You need… to go… to the nurse…” she gasped, after a few moments of deep-breathed silence.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 15, 2008 14:55:06 GMT -5
Elaine sat there laughing. She did not need a nurse to ask what she did. Then Elaine would have to come up with some lie so that her dad would not have been upset with her. She looked over at Bella seeing that she was getting sick. "You look like you need the nurse more then I do. See I am used to getting upset and shattering glass. I will be fine. Why do you care what is the matter with me anyways. After the way I treated you earlier today I would have not cared one bit."
Elaine stayed looking at Bella with apologetic eyes. She wished she had not said anything because that would have meant that Bella and her could have been friends and she might have not done what she was doing now. Elaine then looked at her hands and watched the blood dripped down from them. "No one can know about it. If they do my dad will ship me away to a mental hospital. Please I could not handle going there. I would never make it out." Elaine still had tears in her eyes. She was working on getting better but it was hard. She been trying for 3 years and this was a back slide.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 15, 2008 15:45:43 GMT -5
“Ugh,” Bella could barely respond as she made sure not to turn back to Elaine. The room was already swaying and this time there was no Mike Newton to escort her to the nurse’s office, nor was there a super strong vampire that she had to focus on not vomiting on. She slowly sunk to the floor, sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest, and she slowly rested her pounding head on them.
“I’m still me,” she admitted, sounding pretty green. “I may be diluted, but I’m still… I’m not some kind of…” Monster.
She just couldn’t bring herself to say the word, not after hearing Edward refer to himself as one so often. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” she said, quietly, wondering how she was going to get out of here without any help and without drawing suspicion from anyone else.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 15, 2008 16:36:37 GMT -5
Elaine stood up and started to turn the water on. She was washing the blood of before putting her hand in her pockets. When she pulled it out their was some tweezers. "Thanks I really don't want to leave. I am getting better I thought. Sorry you had to see this. Let me clean my hands and I will take you to the nurse." Elaine started to slowly started to take the class shards out of her hands. Occasionally she would jump since a piece would have been stuck down farther then she thought and it hurt. Elaine looked down at Bella she kept to taking the glass out. She was used to doing this so it was not that hard to do. *I should go to that hospital it might be better for me.*
"Sorry about the whole Edward thing. I mean Edward just left you. Jason went and died. So I was upset that you are in this mood when you still have a chance. Jason died you know is now 6 ft under somewhere. What makes it worse is that he dies of unnatural causes. No one knows why he died." Elaine started to now dig in her bag. She pulled out some white gauze and tap. She was wrapping it around her hands so that no one would noticed that she was bleeding. She then grabbed some black leather gloves to put on. She first bent down and started to clean up the blood with some paper towels. Once she put the all the paper in the trash. Leaving the glass there she put her gloves on looking at Bella on the ground.
"okay the blood is all cleaned up. Plus look no one will know that something as happened but the mirror that was broken some how and no blood. So you ready to go to the Nurse now." She knew her hands would look horrible tonight and she was going to be in gloves for the longest time.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 15, 2008 17:37:00 GMT -5
“Thank you,” Bella murmured, weakly as Elaine began to clean herself up. It was about all she could manage through the queasiness in her stomach and the roaring blood in her ears. She was quite thankful, actually, because with all the physical discomfort, her emotional numbness had begun to fade. She leaned her body to the side so her head was resting against the unsanitary porcelain of the sinks, her arms wrapped around her knees, which were pressed up against her chest.
However, as she heard the ‘clinks’ of glass being pulled from the wounds of the other girl, Bella’s thoughts were catapulted back to the last time she was at the Cullens’ home. When she had sat at the large, unused, dining room table with Carlisle removing large shards of glass from her forearm. Her eyes glazed over in the silence, remembering the conversation that she had with him that night, when she had discovered Edward’s belief about the state of their souls. At that moment she was even more thankful that she had her back to Elaine as the force of the memory rocked her. She inhaled sharply, the scent of blood throwing her stomach into another cramp. At least that took her mind off it, even if it did mean that she was in danger of vomiting at any moment. However, it was at that moment that Elaine began to speak and share with her again.
“No,” Bella said, before she could stop herself, wanting to stop Elaine in her flow of conversation. “I-I don’t talk about him.”
The sentence was definite, even if the voice that issued it was weak. However, she allowed the other girl to continue sharing her own experiences. So Jason had died? She assumed that he was the boy that Elaine had cut herself up over - literally. It was easier for Bella to listen to the story in silence, absorbing the information as she had done in all her classes since Edward had left her. Her lips set where she sat, pale-faced and queasy-stomached. So Jason had died. She could understand that, she could almost relate, it was such a human thing, to end. What was killing Bella was that Edward would live forever, he had an eternity to live and Bella was only mortal - a flash in the pan to him. And yet still, he couldn’t bear to remain with her for her mortal life. He hadn’t wanted her anymore, after only a few months. He had forever, but she had still driven him and his entire family away. She breathed in again, the metallic stench still in the air made her head spin - a sensation she had never been so thankful for.
“I’m sorry about Jason,” she told the other girl, knowing that she had to say something and she was truly sorry that something so awful had happened to her. She shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling as if she would be sick. “Maybe you need some closure… somehow…”
Even though Elaine told her that all the blood was cleared up, Bella still didn’t move to turn to face her. “Thanks, Elaine. I don’t… think I can move just yet.”
She didn’t know if she was going to be able to move without help for the next age.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 15, 2008 22:01:10 GMT -5
Elaine sat down next to Bella. "you know if you did talk about him you might be able to get over it. I won't bring it up though. I promise. I was just upset because you were the begin stages of what I was when I first started. " Elaine looked out the window and was smiling.
"well I would get closer if I new how. The doctors were not even sure how he died. The strangest thing was that I never seemed to see him during the day. He alway came over at night. I would visit him during the day at his place. " Elaine thought that if she talked about him it might work better. She then handed Bella a picture of her boyfriend that was even paler then her. "That is Jason."
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 15, 2008 23:00:34 GMT -5
Bella didn’t look around when Elaine sat next to her. She wasn’t entirely how well the other girl had hidden her wounds and Bella’s head was already swimming. Plus, it made it all the more difficult to stay remote from the situation if you had to look someone in the eyes. She looked blankly out towards the bathroom wall, her eyes looking glazed, though that could equally be from misery or sickness, it was difficult to tell at this stage. Happily, though the sickness also gave her an excuse not to respond to Elaine’s advice to talk about Edward. It was never going to happen. Ever.
Instead she listened to the other girl talk about Jason some more, nodding along to her story, though as she said more about him she couldn’t help turning to look at the other girl. A light of understanding was lit in her eyes, a craving to find out more. Could this possibly be? She held out her hand, in silence, for the picture of Jason, her eyes widening at the sight. No, it was impossible. Her breathing became slightly shallower and the desire to empty her stomach increased.
“He’s… he looks nice,” she said, eventually, handing the photo back whilst pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She allowed her head to hang a little lower between her knees. “Sorry.”
She just hoped she could pass this off as blood faintness still.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 16, 2008 0:37:00 GMT -5
Elaine took the picture back and held in her hands looking at it as a tear fell from her eyes and onto the photo. "Thanks but don't be sorry ok"
Elaine then stood up knowing that she had to get out of there before she did something else was fine. "Jason is dead. So there is nothing anyone in the world can do about it." She hated feeling this way but she need to stay strong tired of people feeling sorry for her. Elaine walked to the door and then turned. "We can still talk if you want. Remember though that no one is to now about my hands."
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 17, 2008 5:25:52 GMT -5
Bella nodded at Elaine, weakly, her head reeling.
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she managed a sickly looking smile up to the other girl in an attempt to comfort her from her position on the bathroom floor. “I’m just going to try to get my head back a little before coming out, okay?”
She looked down at the tiled floor again, looking at the bland colours and lines in an attempt to help her sort everything out. Luckily, the blast of air from Elaine’s departure had shifted some of the stench of blood away and knowing it wasn’t still running out of her wounds made it a little better. However, that was the least of her worries now, since seeing that picture of Jason. It reminded her of the one she had taken of Edward, the one in which he looked like a beautiful, lifeless marble statue. Was it just wishful thinking? No, she had been so immersed into the realm of the undead that there was no mistaking that pallor, that statuesque appearance. A vague beat of alarm filter through the hole in her chest, her brown eyes shifting up to the closed door.
She may be upset, but did Elaine know how lucky she was? Bella doubted that Jason had been transformed by a vampire with the same diet as the Cullens; she had learnt that the vegetarian way was an eccentric one in their world. She couldn’t see the colour of his eyes from the photo, they just appeared rather dark, but… She shivered slightly as she remembered her confrontation with James last spring. How different that would have been with no one looking out for her. Of course she wouldn’t tell Elaine her theories, that was a promise she would never break, but she did wonder vaguely whether this vampire would come to look for his lover. It would seem the only reason that he would allow her to photograph her like that…
A frown creased her brow at that thought. If Elaine had a photo of him as a vampire, that meant that they had to be in contact with each other, which could mean that he was a vegetarian. Bella’s head throbbed with the thought and she groaned a little. She was going in circles and no part of the orbit was helping her state of mind.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 17, 2008 15:52:57 GMT -5
Elaine walked out of the bathroom and into the cafeteria and sat down in her normally spot. She knew that her hands would be sore the whole day. She also knew that she really need to get them cleaned up and bandaged better but she did not trust anyone to do it for her. Elaine stared at her plate not really hunger but knowing she needed to eat. *Okay something up. I mean when I should Bella that picture she had gotten even quieter then the was before. I going to have to find out what going on that much is for sure."
Elaine took a bite of her apple and just sat there wondering what was going on. She was glad that she had said sorry to Bella and told her everything. It was nice to have someone that would keep her secrets about how you was hurting herself and about what happen. She now just hoped that Bella could one day trust and help her out.
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