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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 8, 2008 18:03:16 GMT -5
Elaine pulled up to school that day wearing the same thing as always complete black. She had been going here for little over a year and the only people she had even talk to was Angela and then some Rosalie Hale. She had come and gone by that time though. Elaine stopped her car and got out. She now had the fanciest car in the whole school. *This is not cool Why could I not be normally like the rest*
Elaine looked around as the parking lot started to fill up with children coming to school. While looking around she noticed that some of them looked about like her. Not wanting to be there. She smiled to herself while grabbing her books. She then locked her door and headed toward the school.
"well today will be great I can go get the classes I need to pass and then go to work like normal and not have a life." She looked around wishing she could find someone to talk to.
[tag: Bella or anyone else.]
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 8, 2008 18:23:24 GMT -5
Her time spent with Jacob fixing up the bikes that weekend had been exhilirating for Bella, she had forgotten how good smiling felt. Not just moving the facial muscles, but actually smiling from the inside. It was a pity she couldn't remember how that felt now. She jumped out of her truck, the reverberation from the slam of the heavy door echoing inside her head. It reminded her of the headache she had the night that he had left her. Her breath caught in her throat at the single thought. Even thinking of him indirectly now caused the hole in her chest to decay a little more.
I'm not getting better, she concluded to herself, pulling her file up to her chest and crossing her arms over it like a little shield. She didn't want anyone to see the massive gaping crevasse that once held her heart and lungs, she couldn't be vulnerable, not here at school. She cast her eyes to the ground as she walked towards the school building, the wind and the rain battering at her untidy hair, she hadn't bothered putting her hood up.
It'll be alright though. Once those bikes are fixed up I'll hear him again, again a surge of pain assaulted her chest and she winced as she tripped against one of the concrete steps. The file went flying as she rebounded off a girl in front of her and it burst open with all its force, spilling her papers forth on to the soggy ground.
"Great," she murmured to herself, crouching down to retrieve them. She glanced up from where she crouched, looking up at the girl dressed all in black.
"Sorry," she told her, her dark, dull eyes staring up at her from a heavily shadowed and pale face. It was like a zombie staring up, no feelings, just numbness.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 8, 2008 18:43:02 GMT -5
Elaine bent down and started to help the girl pick up her papers. "It is okay I have the same type of days sometimes. Where you just wish you could stay in bed and cry." Elaine felt for once that someone was maybe feeling the same way as she was about Jason. She slowly went to hand the girl her papers.
"Here you go. So what wrong with you. I mean when I saw you last year you were so happy and always smiling. Now I see you and it is as if you are like me." Elaine then covered her mouth. "sorry you do not have to answer that. I was just being mean. "
Elaine knew she had messed up so she stood back up to walk away.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 8, 2008 19:32:14 GMT -5
Bella could almost hear the tear that cut into her chest as the other girl mentioned days to go home and cry. She just wished she could. It had been months since she had last shed a tear, they had dried up with her emotions. She supposed the emotional hurt was an emotion, but it was exhibiting itself as such physical torment that Bella forgot that it wasn’t a real injury. In her head she was dying, one day her body would run out of blood without a heart to pump it around, or her brain would run dry of vital oxygen without her lungs to take it in for her. Her eyes dropped to the ground again, scrabbling for the last few bits of paper with Elaine’s help as an excuse not to look at her for a moment. Not until she composed herself. She couldn’t allow herself to break down here, though, if she had the capacity; it wouldn’t be fair on Charlie and she didn’t want to give him another excuse to send her back to Phoenix. Thus, as she got to her feet, she faced Elaine with a carefully composed, if haggard face, even forcing a small fake smile on to her face.
“Oh no,” she commented, trying to sound as bright and breezy as she could manage. It sounded quite good in her ears, but in reality the tone was just a scratch above the wind. “Don’t be sorry…”
She trailed off, vaguely, disbelieving that the other girl was in as much pain as her. She simply couldn’t imagine it in others. It was probably selfish of her, but her every thought was subsumed in misery, she had lost herself, she couldn’t see this in others.
“My problems?” she laughed, intending for a light titter to draw away attention, though it actually came out as dry and lifeless. “Complicated…”
She drew her file back up to her chest, hugging it into place to hide her vulnerability. “It’s complicated.”
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 8, 2008 23:57:37 GMT -5
Elaine looked at Bella and smiled. She then turned to talk away she could tell when a person did not want to talk and this was one of them times. She knew that her stuff was complicated to but she was still going to talk to people. "well okay It might be complicated. If you look closely thought I am sure that everyone has something that is complicated in their life."
She then held her back to her back tightly and let out a small smile. "Just keep a smile on and it will get better or people will give up trying to help you. Don't let it get to the second one. You will not like it if there because you will never get out of it. Take it from someone that knows." She was not going stay there and talk to someone that really did not want to talk. She started to walk away. "If you do decided that you life is not so complicated that a girl in your situation would understand. You can look me up."
Elaine then walked over to her locker and started to put the books that she was not needing at the moment in the locker. This was the easiest then and it gave that girl time to think about it.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 9, 2008 15:44:10 GMT -5
Bella couldn’t help but shoot Elaine’s retreating back a dark look. Yes, she was sure every other teenager in this dull box of a school’s life was filled with the same complications. She was sure they all had a supernatural boyfriend that they had made move states due to the nature of what they were. She was sure they were all fighting their way around this life, struggling with no heart or lungs to help them. She squeezed her file closer to her chest, hearing the clipping mechanism squeak in protest and then snap.
Of course, she knew that the girl in black was right about keeping a smile on her face. It was what she had been doing since that fateful September day, holding it artificially in place to appease her friends and family. At least that’s what she thought she was doing. She wondered, vaguely, how she had become so much of a zombie without even noticing the transformation. Surely the transformation into a vampire was less painful than this mortifyingly slow zombification? That was something she would never know.
Suddenly, Bella’s only desire was to escape, but where to? The world was suffocating without lungs. She looked around wildly, just one to the right and then to the left, before she managed to compose herself once more. She wondered what it would be like without the hole in her chest? For some strange reason the thought unsettled her. Even if this pain was all she had left of him, she wanted to keep it - this was something he couldn’t make her forget. She walked up the steps and into the corridors of the school, passing the girl by the lockers. A darkness clouded Bella’s vision, displacing just the tiniest amount of her pain and numbness, and she turned on her heel to face her.
She opened her mouth to speak, eyes alive for a millisecond, before they dulled over again and her mouth closed, her chin dimpling in stubborn resolution. What was the point in saying anything?
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 9, 2008 15:53:59 GMT -5
Elaine looked at the girl when she finished in her locker. She smiled knowing that she was going to try and help this girl even if no one had every bothered to help her. She knew the girl was hurting but just need to know what the story was.
"So you want to talk about what going on. I will listen and be there to help you out. Just think of it. Out of all the people at this school I should know what your going threw." Elaine looked at her and then closed her eyes holding her backpack. She was going back to the time when she was happy. She was in someone arms and walking the beach looking up at the stars. She was laughing and in something other then powder blue.
She opened her eyes looking at the girl her eyes sort of had a sparkle but it was slowly fading. She missed having someone she hated to be alone. Elaine then turned to shut her locker. She knew she would have to get to class soon but if this girl wanted to talk she was more then willing to talk to her and listen. *Wow I am talking to someone and I don't even know her name this is interesting.*
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 9, 2008 20:33:29 GMT -5
Bella cursed herself internally for not turning away before the other girl could speak to her again. Darned slow reactions, slow everything these days. She would have thought her brain had turned to mush, if it wasn’t for the semi-decent grades she had been getting since she had given up on living. Her flat, dull eyes bore into Elaine’s, the fluorescent lights above casting awful shadows in the exaggerated hollows of her face and she didn’t answer for a good, long minute.
“I’m sorry, uh…” she realised, suddenly, that she had no idea what the other girl’s name was. Did it matter? She was sure that it did in the name of manners and politeness. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name…”
She allowed her eyes to fall away from Elaine’s face in distraction. She couldn’t talk, not to anyone. Ever. Charlie had tried it once and that had been enough, he couldn’t bear to see the wounds his daughter had suffered. If she could keep the other girl away from the subject until class started, it would be an achievement. Too late she remembered that she had not told the other girl her own name, but chose to keep it to herself for now so that it would take up more irrelevant time.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 9, 2008 20:44:27 GMT -5
Elaine looked at her. "well my name is Elaine Rhodes. I moved here last year. I doubt you noticed though you had other friends that did not want to interact with others as much." Elaine knew this girl's name was Bella. Everyone in the school knew who the girl was. Elaine looked at her.
Elaine knew that she could cut to the chase but was sure she would lose getting to try and help her. Elaine then thought about it if you did not comfort the problem you would ever be able to heal from it. She knew that much. Elaine then smiled knowing that she had decided to do.
"Bella Swann, what have you let that boy Edward Cullen do to you. Your so upset because he broke up with you. Don't you think about how other people feel. There are people out there that want to help you. " Elaine now had tears near to coming out of her eyes. "There others out there that have lost more then just a boyfriend by being dumped and that all you mope and Complain about. I know why he dumped you not you were weak. You could not handle anything if he was not there."
Elaine knew that what she said was mean and harsh but it need to be said. She then went to walk away from her. She knew that if she upset Bella enough she would fight back at it. Elaine had tears running down her eyes. * I had lost someone to death she had a reason to feel sorry that girl has nothing.* She was thinking to herself.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 9, 2008 22:02:58 GMT -5
At first there was no reaction from Bella, she stood there, a cardboard cut out, holding perfectly still with the file crushed to her chest. Her head filled with noise all of a sudden, rushing blood.
Edward Cullen.
The floodgates broke within her chest, the hole threatened to consume her and there was nothing she could do. She continued to stand, unmoving, in front of Elaine, like she had fallen into some kind of catatonic coma. She barely heard the insults that followed, she just heard the name echoing around her head, mocking her, screaming at her, leaving her again and again. Time had healed nothing. Her brown eyes flicked to Elaine’s face as the rest of the words slowly filtered through her crowded brain. The file she held to her chest eventually gave up its structure with a squeak, but Bella didn’t notice.
I know why he dumped you, you were weak.
How little she knew. It was her weak skin, her weak human frailties, her weak mind, her weak body, her weak influence. How could she have even thought Edward wanted to look at her twice? He probably only stayed with her that long to be polite. Her gaze dropped, the long curtains of messy, brown hair sweeping forward to hide her face. If only she had been a vampire, then she would have had the beauty, the brains, the sameness, the ability to dazzle. Then she wouldn’t be weak. She inhaled for the first time in well over a minute, though she couldn’t feel her lungs. In fact the whole crevasse of her chest was on fire, throbbing with its own gravitational pull.
Not here, Bella, she told herself through the mass of white noise in her head. Keep it together here! Do whatever you can, just keep it together! You will not break down here.
Her face set, each muscle seeming to freeze into position separately, as she forced the stubborn expression on to her face. She closed her eyes slowly, having to force them back open to look at this Elaine Rhodes in the face, she saw the tears running down the other girl’s face, but she couldn’t comprehend what they meant. She wished she could, she wished she could cry herself to madness, get hysterical, but she couldn’t. She didn’t work properly anymore, she felt alien in her own body. But she could act, and that’s what she would do here. She knew that the other girl had been terribly rude to her, she had that basic concept, so she should fight her corner. Her brown eyes hardened, but remained vacant, maintained their look of desperation.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice rough and distant. “You don’t know anything about me or…”
Her voice cut off abruptly as Edward’s name was about to come up in the flow of her sentence. She hadn’t thought his actual name for months, and its presence in her head was eating her alive. She certainly couldn’t say it out loud and maintain any sense of sanity at the same time.
“Him,” she finished after about ten long seconds. “How dare you presume… You know nothing. How can you…” she was beginning to find it difficult to finish sentences as random thoughts connected with her mouth before her brain could process the sensible ones. And yet she still couldn’t cry.
I don’t have a heart, she thought to herself, before adding out loud, hissing at the girl dressed in black. “What’s your excuse?”
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 9, 2008 22:12:55 GMT -5
Elaine looked at her with the tears in her eyes. She could not do this she had to get out of there. She was not going to let this girl break her. She put on a smile and whipped her face. "You would love to know. Well guess what I am not going to give you the benefit of knowing. Nice talking to you."
She then started to walk away knowing she had to get away. She had to take out her picture of Jason to calm her down. "I know that i got it right because if not I would not have pushed a nerve. So you know that is what you need fixed. You need to learn to get over Edward he not coming back. He has finally got some common scenes." She smiled knowing that she had broken the girl down like she wanted to the girl was going to be able to get help now.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 9, 2008 22:41:36 GMT -5
Bella’s eyes followed Elaine, fixed on her. Her attacker had become her anchor, keeping her in this state of mind before she lost it to despair. How could she say such things? She couldn’t even imagine Lauren Mallory being so callous.
“No I don’t,” she said, rather pettily, in response to Elaine’s accusation that she wanted to pry into her affairs. Bella didn’t care about anybody’s affairs anymore, never mind some girl’s that she had never spoken to before. Usually she had the tact to dance around such a confrontation, but she was clutching at straws here, trying to figure out how she should react whilst Edward Cullen screamed around her head.
Her jaw clenched against the queasy feeling that suddenly assaulted her stomach, making her mouth water unpleasantly. He’s never coming back? she asked herself, internally, the blood rushing in her ears once again. She knew that, of course she knew that, but… She didn’t let anyone say it. Who did this girl think she was? She was breaking all the rules. And unlike the unexpected relief she got from Jacob’s friendly presence, all she was feeling was a certainty that her soul had been torn apart. If he didn’t want her, then why did he take that with him? She stood in the middle of the corridor, looking after Elaine’s retreat, unable to unhinge her legs to follow her.
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Angela Weber
Settled in Forks
Human, Forks High Student
Posts: 89
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Post by Angela Weber on Dec 9, 2008 22:49:14 GMT -5
Angela turned around the corner at the end of the hallway. There was a little bounce in her step. She was having a great day today. She was spending the afternoon with her little brothers and she had seen this morning how excited they were about it. She was planning to take them out for ice cream which would definitely score her some points in the 'best sister' category.
As she looked down towards the lockers, Angela could see two of her friends, Elaine and Bella talking, but both of them looked upset. Uh oh... She couldn't help but thinking. As she walked closer she could see that both of them looked on the verge of tears.
"Hey..uh..is everything okay?" She said concerned as she approached them both.
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Post by Bella Swan on Dec 9, 2008 23:21:29 GMT -5
Bella slowly moved her focus from Elaine to Angela, instantly recognising that calm, if unsure, exterior. The pain in her chest lessened. She had been around Angela a lot these last few months, her body remembered how to react around her. The threatening tears in her eyes dried up, the frozen stubborn expression faded into the same old numb one.
“Perfectly,” unfortunately her voice hadn’t recovered yet, it was barely a whisper, though the tone was perfectly even. Robotic. And even Bella could hear it. She shook her head, trying to be natural under the harsh light of the corridor, and forced an even smile on to her dead face. “Sorry, Angela. Just a disagreement.”
She kept her arms wrapped around her chest, trapping her crushed file there until she was safe to let go.
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Post by Elaine Rhodes on Dec 9, 2008 23:32:02 GMT -5
Elaine smiled looked at Angela. "Yes everything is peachy keen. I was just talking to Bella about the truth and she does not want to accept it. I don't want her to end up like me and she is."
Elaine then started to look at her feet. "She does not even want to know what I went though and neither do you. I have had problems just like her but she is still here with friends. Where am I at a new school having to befriend new people that don't even like me. So she does not know what it is like." She looked up at both of them crying.
"So you know what I don't care now. Let her become like me cold hearted and hating everyone even though I talk to everyone making them believe I am their friend."
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